10 Top Tips For Successful Goal Setting


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1) Work on one major goal at a time; your chances of success are greater when you channel energy into changing just one thing at a time, especially when you’re changing your behaviour. If you have more than one space them out through the year so that you can still hit them one at a time

2) Don’t wait until New Year’s Eve to think about deciding on and setting your goals, instead devote some time before to reflect upon what you really want to achieve for yourself

3) Avoid previous goals that you didn’t achieve; deciding to re-visit a past goal sets you up for frustration and disappointment, plus it may not be that important for you anymore

4) Don’t be a sheep and go with the traditional goals. Instead think about what YOU really want out of YOUR life

5) Break your goal into a series of steps, focusing on creating sub-goals that are concrete, measurable, and time-based yet will push you and expand your comfort zone

6) Tell your friends and family about your goals, this increases the fear of failure and can elicit support from others. Create a contract with yourself and sign it and stick it on your fridge door

7) Frequently remind yourself of the benefits associated with achieving your goals by creating a checklist of how life would be better once you obtain your aim

8) Reward yourself with a small treat whenever you achieve a sub-goal, this will maintain your motivation and a sense of progress. Make sure your reward is not something that will set you back

9) Make your plans and progress concrete by keeping a hand-written journal, completing a computer spreadsheet or covering a notice board with graphs or pictures. You can set this up at the beginning when you plan your strategy

10) Expect to revert to your old habits from time to time at the beginning. Build the occasional relapse back to your old habit as part of the plan rather than a reason to give up. It is a part of the natural cycle of behavioural change. In fact plan 3 relapses in so that you can look forward to them and tick them off, knowing that after the third one, your new habit should be well on its way to being second nature

If you need some guidance I have a pdf called ‘How To Set Effective Goals’ which is for sale at £4.99 and this will give you everything you need to set yourself up for success in 2014

If you want to buy a copy just send me an email at:

simon@simonmaryan.com

How Scarcity Affects Our Minds


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I mucked up this morning and missed out this link referring to the original  author of this article, Dr Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. who writes for Psychology Today and has her own practice in Marin County:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201401/the-psychology-scarcity?quicktabs_5=0

When we experience emotional deprivation in childhood, this feeling of not being important or lovable enough can persist into adulthood as a “deprivation mindset.”  We may never feel as if we have enough of the things we need.  This sense of insecurity can harm our close relationships. We may expect our loved ones to let us down, never express our needs directly or choose romantic partners who are avoidant of intimacy. Feeling deprived of important resources like love, food, money, or time can lead to anxiety or anger. We may obsess about the thing we are deprived of.  Or we may feel like we need to operate in emergency mode—penny-pinching or scheduling every second of our days. New theories and research about the psychology of scarcity provide some insights into how perceiving scarcity negatively impacts our brains and behaviour.

How Scarcity Affects Our Thinking

A scarcity mindset narrows our time frame, causing us to make impulsive, short-term decisions that increase our difficulties in the long-term, like putting off paying credit card bills or not opening the envelopes, hoping they will magically disappear. Poor farmers in India do better on cognitive tests at the end of the harvest when they are flush than at the beginning of harvest when they are running out of money. The size of this effect was equivalent to a 13-point drop in IQ! Dealing with extremely limited resources increases the problems and barriers we have to deal with, resulting in mental fatigue and cognitive overload. Other studies show that being lonely or deprived of food results in an unhealthy obession, hyperfocus, and overvaluing of the thing we don’t have. Ironically, the nature of scarcity itself impedes our coping efforts.

Scarcity and Motivation

Stress and anxiety associated with scarcity interfere with motivation, causing us to be more vulnerable to temptation. Do you notice how people buy stuff they don’t need at after-holiday sales when they’ve already spent most of their money? Perceiving scarcity, we’re unable to resist the time-limited super-bargain. Similarly, crash/starvation diets make us more likely to binge eat—not to mention the physiological effects of hunger on thinking and performance.  Lonely people see themselves and others more negatively and may counterproductively avoid joining group gatherings and activities for fear of rejection.

 What To Do

So, how do we overcome this scarcity mindset without becoming too complacent and living in ‘la-la-land’?  While different people may be comfortable with different levels of scarcity versus abundance mindset, the following suggestions can help you feel less deprived.

  1. Practice Gratitude – Deliberately focus your mind on what is good about your life, including the people who support you, the sense of community in your neighborhood, your achievements, or your exercise and healthy lifestyle. This can stop you from magnifying the importance of any one scarce resource like time or money.
  2. Don’t Compare Yourself With Others – You will always be exposed to people who have more time, money, or possessions and may experience a touch of envy. But in reality, you don’t know what it’s like to walk in that person’s shoes. As the saying goes, “Don’t compare your inside to everybody else’s outside.”  Your struggles may have created inner strengths that you don’t fully appreciate.
  3. Stop Obsessing – It is easy to get caught up in mental scripts about all the wrong decisions you made or worries about “what if.”  To break these cycles requires a lot of effort and preparation. Make a plan for what you will do if you catch yourself ruminating. Getting up and getting active can activate the left side of your brain, which breaks the depressive emotional focus. So, take a walk, call a friend, tidy your house or read a book.
  4. Take Preemptive Measures – Make a list when you go to the supermarket or program automatic appointment reminders and deposits into savings accounts. Don’t take your credit card to the shopping mall—take a frugal friend with you instead. Put the biscuits on the top shelf or give them away before starting your healthy living plan.
  5. Don’t Be Greedy – When resources are scarce, people get competitive because they think that more for somebody else means less for you. In fact, when you help somebody else grow their business, they may be more likely to refer extra business to you. Being helpful to others can lead to deeper friendships, gaining respect and reputation, creative bartering, or making allies.