At various times throughout our lives we can feel overwhelmed with sadness, loss, bitterness, anger etc and it’s hard to believe that your life will ever change, or you’ll ever be able to smile or laugh again. The truth is you will, it won’t always be this bad and there are things you can do to move on with your life in a truly happy and positive way:
1. Choose to face your pain. An unresolved past does not go away. You may think you have buried your anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface later on. If you don’t face what happened and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being ruled by your subconscious mind. So find the courage and a way to resolve the pain.
2. Accept there’s nothing you can do to change the past. What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back time, however, there are ways such as Timeline Therapy, that enable you to rewrite the story so the ending’s positive for you. And, you can change how you think, and you can start over again, and build a different future that leads you to the life you want to have.
3. Be grateful for the good times. There’s usually something good that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to pretend that everything was bad – or write off any good times and happy memories.
4. Consciously let go and set your focus on the future: All your baggage, failures etc of the past, can affect your identity or self esteem, if you let them. When you see them as opportunities to learn and refine how and who you are, they empower you to become stronger and better equipped to live life to it’s fullest. You are NOT what you did, or how you acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your future; you control your destiny.
5. Remove your past from your future. We can at times have a tendency to think that the past will morph into our future and become our lot in life. That only true if you think that’s true. The future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations and work towards those goals. Instead, look hard for the exceptions, the times when things went right and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those same strengths, skills and great qualities and more.
6. Be realistic and take small steps at first. You can’t snap your fingers – and find that life has changed. Accept it will take time, and you will still have some bad days and when you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.