Black Friday Deals


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Good morning everyone,

I’m pretty sure that you’ve been inundated with offers all week in preparation for today and no doubt you will receive plenty more even after today has finished.

It can be overwhelming with the quantity that comes through and sometimes confusing and even annoying…trust me I know, I get them too!!

However, it is amazing the deals that you can pick up when you look around and sift through. 

The thing is we all have to do a lot off sifting through in life in general everyday and some of those decisions are small and some are potentially life changing, and it’s important to take a little time over those really important decisions and make sure that the decision you make feels right at the end of the day.

For me this is so important when deciding on what I choose for my own personal development, because I want to know that I’m getting as much bang for my buck as possible and that the investment is right for me.

So today, I am offering 50% off everything in my online shop until Midnight on Sunday 27th November 2016. That means you can choose from:

  • Coaching – in person or via Skype, Zoom or FaceTime 
  • Training courses – online and face to face
  • Hypnosis sessions – in person or via Skype, Zoom or FaceTime 
  • Books and pdf’s – download
  • Hypnosis audio tracks – download

There’s a fair bit to choose from so take your time to decide on what’s right for you and you can claim your 50% discount by using the following code at checkout: 2LIFVU16YABV

You can find the shop at this link  The Mind-Body Coach Shop 

So, have a fantastic day and a fun filled weekend and for all of you in the US have a brilliant Thanksgiving weekend with your family and friends.

Simon 🙂

When Life is Abruptly Put into Perspective.


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Life has a strange way of shaking you up sometimes and not necessarily by directly affecting you but through family and friends.

The last 24 hours have reminded me of how fragile we as human beings can be at times. I’m not going to go into specific details here because that’s not appropriate, what I will say is that all is never lost. Even in what may feel like the deepest, darkest moment of your life there are people who want to help you, all you have to do is reach out and grab there hand and talk to them. You don’t even have to talk about the shit that is dragging you down, just talk to them, let them help you because they care about you.

Recent events have shaken me despite everything I know and what I do for a living and what I am reassured by is the old boy network and how hugely efficient it can be when combined with social media, because last night it helped save a life. It was awesome to see a group of people, friends from all walks of life, from all round the UK and abroad rally round and do everything they could to help a friend in need.

The other thing I want to say is if you have the feeling that someone you know and care about is in a bad way and may do the thing you fear the most and take their own life, make a call to organisations that can help and that includes dialling 999. This is ultimately what happened last night and they thankfully got their in the nick of time.

I’ve had a massive rethink about my business in the last few hours and the ways I can offer it to people and today, I will be making some significant changes so that my services are much more accessible to the people who really need my help.

Every day’s a school day and I’ve learnt a few very valuable lessons and for that I am extremely grateful.

So, look out for your friends and family, never dismiss other peeps feelings no matter how alien they are to you or uncomfortable they may make you feel and take action even if the person you help feels pissed off with you for a while.

You may just save a life.

Big hugs

Simon

Life Design Launches This Week!!


After many months of work and my eyes burning and aching from staring at my laptop screen for hours on end at all times of day and night, I am delighted to say that my online course ‘Life Design’ is ready for launch.

It has been a long time from the initial idea to now, with many revisions, one live test and one original online test, both of which lead to some great feedback and testimonials. So thank you again to the people who helped Beta test the course and for your feedback that helped refine it and improve it.

I have put together a few visuals that explain what it’s all about and I also wanted to explain a little more about the background to it.

I have been in the position a few times in my life where I’ve felt lost. I’d lost my job, my home, lost my first marriage and lost sense of my identity. I felt numb and dissociated like I was just viewing my life from the outside in with the sound down and all the colour gone.

It’s a horrible feeling to not know who you are, where you’re meant to be and how you’re meant to be and can, if left to fester, turn into serious depression, insomnia, anxiety etc. So on the back of these dark experiences in my life, I did some soul searching to figure out what helped me get out of it and what didn’t. I then distilled this down to the formula that is the essence of Life Design.

It is a wonderful recipe full of flavour that leaves you yearning for more at the end of each lesson, you really get the taste for discovering more about yourself and what is right for you in your life and how to get it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a human being and I still feel that sense of loss from time to time, we all do because it’s perfectly natural. It’s just that what you get from this course is the ability to recognise those feelings for what they are and how to change your thinking patterns and steer yourself back on course so much faster than people who do not know these key elements.

Life Design gives you an advantage over the people who don’t know, and, it gives you the opportunity to use the skills you learn here to help other people who may be experiencing what you and I have felt and get them back on course sooner rather than later.

Life Design launches this Friday 11th November 2016 and I have a fantastic pre-launch offer.

When you book your course, the first 50 places booked can get 15% discount using this coupon code at checkout lifedesignlaunch16

The other amazing offer with this course is that you get lifetime access and that includes access to any future updates or upgrades, so you will never lose what you’ve learnt, you will only gain more.

The course is £999, if you are one of the 50 that take advantage of the Launch Coupon Code lifedesignlaunch16 and grab your 15% discount you get it for £849.15

Also, the next 50 who book onto the course after the launch discounts codes are used up will get 10% discount by using the Coupon Code which will be posted once the launch promotions couples are used up, after that the course goes to full price.

The beauty of this course is that:

  • It’s online
  • You can work your way through it in your own time
  • Group discussion forum within the course
  • Closed Facebook group for members only
  • Email me directly
  • Lifetime access to course and any future updates and upgrades so you can work through the course again at anytime in the future.

So to recap:

  • Life Design launches Friday 11th November 2016
  • Course price £999
  • 15% discount – 50 places available from launch date – Coupon Code lifedesign16
  • 10% discount – 50 places available after launch codes are used – TBC
  • Lifetime access
  • Course URL: http://simon-maryan.thinkific.com/courses/life-design (live only from Friday 11th November 2016, so save it ready for Friday)

Keep your eyes peeled for the official launch this Friday and please share this with your family, friends and work colleagues because you never know who might be needing this right now.

Have a fantastic week

Simon

 

Are You Designing The Life You Want?


It’s always struck me as an almost impossible decision to make when you’re a kid at school, that choice that’s thrown at you to decide your future at 16. How can you possibly know what you want to do when you’ve done bugger all at that point?

It has taken me until my 40’s to figure it out and with several attempts to find out along the way. Even though I have made my own choices as to what to do, mostly,  and I have enjoyed what I’ve done, I have never felt truly comfortable with the jobs I’ve had. It’s like there was something missing, something not quite right and it was purely a gut feeling.

As bizarre and paradoxical as this may sound, if you’re feeling the same way right now I believe that precisely because of that, you are on the right path. Because when you don’t know which direction to head in, when you feel lost, it is this simple yet powerful realisation that you are lost that enables you to actually begin to find yourself. It is only when you reach this point that you know what all those difficult questions about life are and you can then ask them of yourself and clear the fog to begin to reveal your path, your purpose.

I have been lost several times in my life and always experience the most amazing shifts in my consciousness as a result of it. It makes me feel so different in so many ways, and, these changes can feel uncomfortable at first and all I can say to that is enjoy it, embrace it and know that good things happen as a result of these kinds of shift, because you awaken to other ways of thinking and being and that you are responsible for your own life’s direction.

When you awaken to the responsibility you have for your own life, it can give you a sense of heaviness initially, it can even feel overwhelming, because you now understand that you are the only person who can be held accountable for the life you choose to lead. If you want to turn your dreams into reality, it is you who will have to take control and make that happen.

After realising your responsibility for your success in life, you may begin to experience a sense of doubt in the back of your mind; a fear that if you try to turn your dreams into reality, you put yourself at risk of failing. This fear can grow extremely fast when you reach the inevitable conclusion that you have no choice but to drive that change if you are to achieve the things you hold close to your heart. This is where your mental strength comes into it’s own and where you find out if you truly, deep down want what you thought you wanted.

When you make that decision that change is inevitable, it can be so easy to become intimidated and overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that you all of a sudden, want to change. If this happens just pause, breathe and remember everything else you’ve achieved in your life and how previously, you didn’t think you’d be able to handle so many things at once, and you did. Remember that you are capable of doing what needs to be done when you break them down into smaller bite sized pieces.

And do you know what, sometimes you can’t figure out a way to put your plans into action straight way, perhaps because you feel that time is not on your side. The weeks, months and years seem to fly by and you sense that you don’t have enough of them left to reach your ideal destination. This is just an illusion created by doubt and fear. The only reason time seems to alter is because we are either extremely busy or extremely quiet in our lives, the fact that it seems to speed up and slow down is just an illusion. You have the time you need if you plan your changes wisely. Even when your life right now seems so hectic to you and some days leave you feeling drained of energy physically and mentally. Putting in the effort to plan your changes wisely helps to set you up for success, and then you can look forward to your holidays and take a well earned break from life cycle of repetitive habit and duty.

These big shifts can leave you feeling unwilling to put up with two faced people whose words and behaviours betray their negative and hurtful actions. The best thing you can do now is put as much distance between them and you as possible, because their very presence can bring you down at times and steer you temporarily off course. Never let anyone or anything stand in the way of your dreams and just remember that the path is never straight and easy, it will throw challenges and detours at you and it is down to your strength of mind and commitment to you, that will get you where you want to be.

I don’t know about you but I can’t understand why so many people are obsessed with the way they look and the things they own. Of course it’s good to look nice, but there are so many people that I have met in my life that live for their designer clothing, fake tans, cosmetic surgery, bling, and many other traps of meaningless, materialistic bullshit. The way people look has no bearing on what they are like as individuals and more often than not, the people with the shallow, materialistic approach to life are the ones who are prepared to hurt others in order to get what they want. It’s a sad reflection of modern society and one that I’m sure most of you have no time for either. This is another reason that you can know that you’re heading in the right direction because all the crap and irrelevant bullshit has little or no meaning for you.

My perception of society is that it doesn’t appear to be heading in a positive, progressive direction. The modern world is creating more problems than it is solving, and that it is only a matter of time before things go seriously wrong, the markers are everywhere. I would love to see a fairer, more caring future where everyone has greater opportunity and wealth isn’t controlled by the richest 1%. I appreciate that this is a huge generalisation and that there are people out there and organisations that are doing some amazing things and we need more of them. I don’t recall thinking like this when I was younger and I am aware that it was part of a shift a few years ago and it has helped me refine my direction in life for the better.

Now as we all now society is changing, and among some there is a complacency and sense of entitlement. I have found that when we all try to do our bit to inject enthusiasm, positivity, a sense of responsibility and possibility and perhaps even a desire for adventure in people, that it makes a difference to some peoples lives. I hope that this injection of positivity spreads like a happy virus round the universe, because this would make our planet an amazing place to live if we can stop destroying it and ourselves in the process.

When you think about the universe it is easy to feel as though we are just a tiny, unimportant piece of an infinitely complex puzzle and that our achievements don’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things. Not true. The good things you do for others, as well as yourself, may not have any effect on Neptune or in the Andromeda Galaxy, but a small gesture of kindness can have a huge impact on the person you do that for, so keep doing it, because it does matter and it all counts and helps to keep shifting you in the right direction too.

And as rewarding as it can be to do nice things for people you don’t know, it matters just as much when it comes to friendships, because that is a genuine bond, one that isn’t necessarily founded purely on a long history of knowing each other. Even if you drift apart from those friends that you have this connection with and your circle of friends grows smaller because you’ve moved away for work etc. You will never lose those kinds of friends and you will meet new friends and create amazing friendships wherever you go. I have been fortunate to make friends with people in what are classed as some of the most dangerous countries on this planet, some who risked their lives for me. That I will never forget and I will never forget the ones who are no longer here. Respect for others is something that I think comes with age and experience, particularly in understanding who deserves it more than others.

I wonder of you’re like me and often like to take time alone, I enjoy that time to reflect on my life and sometimes those friends who have sadly lost their lives all too soon. I don’t do this to feel melancholy or depressed, I find that by spending time alone I can throw off the worries and anxieties of life and feel the freedom that this provides to reflect and take stock of things. It’s particularly useful and way more enjoyable heading out into nature and escaping the hustle and bustle of society where you can be at one with your thoughts and with yourself. When you get closer to your purpose you naturally appreciate different things, things you may not have noticed as much until now and this is a very good thing because it brings about positive changes.

Sometimes you can see yourself changing before your very eyes and this can be a little scary, perhaps because you have a sense that this change is now unstoppable and you’re afraid that the important people in your life – your family and friends – might not understand what’s happening to you. You worry that they will try to resist your change or even resent you for changing. And that’s ok because wherever you are on your journey, you can’t help but feel that there are pieces of the puzzle still missing. And you can sense that there is so much more to come, but you aren’t yet able to see what this may involve or whom. All you know is that what you have now, and what you can see of the future, isn’t all that there is.

It’s ironic that change is everywhere and so many people fear it. The thing is it almost inevitably involves some element of risk, and can give you an underlying sense of fear about what these risks are and what they mean for you and the people in your life. Whether they involve your physical security, your mental wellbeing, or your spiritual serenity, it’s natural to feel a little uneasy about the potential harm that might come your way. The funny thing is though, as inevitable the risk may be with change, the seriousness of that outcome from taking that risk is often far smaller than we imagined. We tend to err on the side of caution and make things worse in our minds as part of our self defence mechanism. It’s up to you whether you see this as a positive or negative element.

When this happens it’s important to have your say, even if you’re not sure how to say it. Stand up, be heard and make your vote and your voice count, be bold instead of hesitant and don’t worry how this might be perceived by others because this is about you finding your voice, who you are and knowing your purpose and telling people about it. And, that is hugely important in driving you and your life in the right direction and opening up new possibilities as a result of it. When you realise that laid out before you are the almost never-ending possibilities of your life, you can begin to figure out how you will choose between them. Each and every choice you make allows you to become even more aware of the endless possibilities that are yet to be realised by you, and this can either make you anxious about making the right decisions or excited at those possibilities. The choice is ultimately yours, I know what I would choose.

The thing is, knowing what you know now, you are able to look back on your past and see many things that perhaps you would do differently and that is an awesome realisation, because it means you have learnt from your mistakes and are all the wiser for them. And it’s not about feeling regret about how you acted, how you treated others or what your priorities were. You made your choices based on the information, knowledge, skills and experience you had at that time and you did the best you could with all of that. No one sets out to make a shitty decision, that’s pure madness, and as yet I have not met anyone who has told me that they got up in the morning with the intention of fucking everything up that day. Strange I know 🙂 All this means is that you appreciate your mistakes, you’ve taken the value from them and you know what to do should you ever be in a similar position, and you are definitely on the right track.

From time to time in our lives we can lose sight of the grand meaning of it all and we wonder whether there is any purpose to it whatsoever, and you know what, it’s actually ok to feel numb from time to time. In fact it’s completely natural and despite this feeling confusing, the reality is that confusion is a good thing because after the confusion has gone, we will have learned something new.

Sometimes in amongst all the frenetic hustle of life I find it such a relief to not know who I am, where I’m going, what I want to do etc, because not knowing takes the pressure off for a moment while I just allow my self wander through the curiously strange, meandering corridors of my mind and open some of the doors I haven’t opened yet. And the great thing is I know that I will walk back out of that crazy and wonderful maze with a clearer understanding of what I want and what I need to do.

My aim was to give you hope, let you take heart from my own experiences so far with losing my identity, direction and purpose because wherever you are in that process right now, know this. You will come out wiser, clearer and calmer with the knowledge that you need.

Happy trails

Simon

What is Mental Strength and Do You Have It?


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I’m fairly certain that most people would like to think that they have what it takes to succeed; determination, grit, Mental Strength, resilience.

But how do you know for sure? After all you can’t improve what you can’t measure.

Until recently Mental Strength (toughness) was generally subjective. We would look at a business person, an athlete, or an artist achieve great success in the face of adversity and say, “WOW…they must be really mentally strong to get through that!”

We would determine a person’s Mental Strength by their success. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a way to measure this.

So What is Mental Strength?

An excellent place to start is defining what mental toughness is. Until recently there hasn’t been a solid description of what mental toughness is. Then in 2012 after numerous case studies and research Clough & Strycharczyk developed this widely accepted definition of mental toughness.

“Mental Toughness is a personality trait which determines in large part how people deal with challenge, stressors and pressure …. irrespective of prevailing circumstances.”

It is also defined as:

“An ability to overcome adversity and persevere through difficult and challenging situations or circumstances, to remain focused on the process.”

What is So Important About Mental Strength?

Through research, several benefits of being mentally strong have emerged. They are:

  • Performance: Individuals perform more effectively in terms of volume and quality of work.
  • Positive Behavior: The higher the level of Mental Strength, the more the individual demonstrates positive behaviors.
  • Well-being: The greater the level of Mental Strength, the greater the sense of well-being.
  • Aspirations: Studies show that Mental Strength appears to be positively correlated with career aspirations and aspirations in general.
  • Employability: There is a clear relationship between an individual’s Mental Strength and their ability to not only get a job, but to get the job they want.
  • Completion Rates: A mentally strong person is more likely to complete a project on time and on target.
  • Other Considerations: Developing psychological or emotional resilience and Mental Strength is a very important life skill.

What Exactly Makes Up Mental Strength?

There are four major components of Mental Strength and they are:

Control – Control means having a sense of self-worth and describes the extent to which a person feels in control of their life and their circumstances. Importantly, it also describes the extent to which they can control the display of their emotions.

A mentally strong person will usually “get on with it” irrespective of how they feel and their positive approach can often lift the spirits of those around them.

Commitment – Commitment is about goal orientation and ‘stickability’ and describes the extent to which someone is prepared to set goals for what they need to do and make measurable promises that, once made, they will work hard to deliver on.

Control and Commitment, when combined, are what most people mean when they think of resilience. They are indeed a solid response to adversity, but resilience is largely a passive quality and is only one part of Mental Strength.

Challenge – Challenge describes the extent to which the individual will push back their boundaries, embrace change and accept risk. It’s also about how they see all outcomes – good and bad.

Mentally strong people view challenges, change and adversity as opportunities rather than threats and will relish the chance to learn and grow in new and unknown situation. Someone whose challenge score is high will typically enjoy new places, new people, innovation and creativity.

Confidence – Confidence completes the picture and describes the self-belief an individual has in their own abilities and the interpersonal confidence they have to influence others and deal with conflict and challenge. When faced with a challenge, mentally strong people scoring high in confidence, will possess the self-belief to deal with the situation and the inner strength to stand their ground when needed. Their confidence enables them to represent their view boldly and be comfortable in handling objections.

To be Mentally Strong there are four main areas in which you need to excel at. They are:

1. Control: Individuals who score high on this scale feel that they are in control of their work and of their work environment. At the high end of the scale they will be able to handle lots of things at the same time. At the other end, they may only be comfortable handling one thing at a time.

  • Control (emotion) – Individuals scoring highly on this scale are better able to control their emotions. They are better able to keep anxieties in check.
  • Control (life) – Individuals scoring higher on this scale are more likely to believe that they control their lives. They feel that they can make a difference.

2. Challenge (sometimes called change orientation): Describes the extent to which individuals see problems as opportunities. At one end of the scale we find those who thrive in continually changing environments. At the other end, we find those who prefer to minimize their exposure to change and the problems that come with that.

3. Commitment: Sometimes described as “stickability”, this describes the ability for an individual to carry out tasks successfully despite any problems or obstacles which arise whilst achieving the goal. Consequently, an individual who scores at the high end of the scale will be able to handle and achieve things to tough unyielding deadlines.

4. Confidence: Individuals who are high in confidence have the self-belief to successfully complete tasks, which may be considered too difficult by individuals with similar abilities but with lower confidence. At the other end of the scale individuals will be unsettled by setbacks and will feel undermined by these.

  • Confidence (abilities): Individuals scoring highly on this scale are more likely to believe that they are truly worthwhile.
  • Confidence (interpersonal): Individuals scoring highly on this scale tend to be more assertive. They are less likely to be intimidated in social settings and are more likely to cope with difficult or awkward people.

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Can You Develop Mental Strength?

Absolutely, yes you can!

Mental Strength is a malleable personality trait which means it can be developed.

Developing Mental Strength generally happens by teaching you to handle stress more effectively through making fundamental changes to the way you think about problems and by teaching you the tactics and strategies that mentally tough people use.

Either approach can work, although the program needs to be tailored as you will likely have a unique profile with different strengths and development needs. The Mental Strength Programme offers reflection and a conversation with an experienced Mental Strength Coach, you would commit to a purposeful practice using the appropriate techniques. These techniques fall into 5 categories:

  1. Positive Thinking: There are many techniques for developing a “can do” mindset which include self-talk and stopping or reframing negative thoughts.
  2. Mental Rehearsal: This involves developing your ability to first imagine something in your head to help you deal with a real event.
  3. Energy Management: Breathing exercises and relaxation techniques will enable you to deal with those panic moments when things seem out of control, producing a physiological reaction.
  4. Goal Setting: Tools and techniques that support the development of your sense of purpose and how to set about achieving it.
  5. Attention Control: Used extensively in sports to teach athletes how to focus better and longer, as well as developing mindfulness, which is learning how to notice what is happening around you.

How to Measure Mental Strength

Now that we know each component of Mental Strength, the next step is to measure it. This is done by assessing Readiness to Change and Emotional Intelligence.

These Questionnaires are a dynamic and revealing diagnostic test that identifies the resilience and mental toughness of individuals. The tool can be used to enable a program of interventions to help the learner change their Mental Strength, or it can show someone how to adopt the behaviours that a mentally strong person would have.

These Questionnaires are online assessments and are accessed via links and takes just 20-30 minutes to complete. Results are generated quickly and presented in Pdf reports that are emailed to you immediately ofter completion of each assessment.

Where is Mental Strength Useful?

Being Mentally Strong has been proven to be beneficial in improving performance, increasing positivity and aspirations, creating greater well-being as well as a calmer and lower stress response to change.

As a result, the Mental Toughness Questionnaire has many useful applications. Especially for people and organizations that are subject to pressures and challenges or wherever performance, behavior and well-being is an issue.

The Mental Strength Assessment is Widely Used in Businesses for:

  • Training & Development
  • Leadership Development
  • Coaching
  • Organisation Development
  • Performance
  • Talent Management
  • Career Transition and Outplacement
  • Work-Life Balance

The Mental Strength Assessment is Widely Used in Sport

The beneficial impact of Mental Strength is well understood by most coaches and athletes. The key areas are:

  • Performance
  • Positive Behaviour
  • Well-being
  • Aspirations

The Mental Strength Assessment is extremely effective in the Sports sector using language applicable in the sporting world. The results enable coaches, trainers and athletes to make better assessments and identify why they do or do not perform under pressure.

It can also explain why some athletes are better suited at contact sports and why some perform better in team sports than in solitary sports. It also explains why an athlete of lesser ability can often and will often beat an athlete of greater ability.

There are assessments for specific sports so your report can be geared precisely to give you the competitive advantage.

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In Summary

We have:

  • The ability to define and describe an important aspect of our personality – Mental Strength.
  • A concept which is accessible to everyone and which helps to explain performance, well-being and behaviour.
  • Psychometric assessments which measure an individual’s Mental Strength for readiness to change and emotional intelligence.
    A Mental Strength Development program which delivers measurable results.

 

If you feel you want to develop the level of mental strength you want/need in order to live life like a warrior being  kind, compassionate, ruthless in your determination to succeed yet remaining ethically and morally sound, resilient to failures and cheerful when the shit hits the fan. Then get in touch with me to discuss the options below.

  1. Self directed – go through the assessments yourself and the online course in your own time with no input from me
  2. 8 Week coaching Programme – go through the assessments and the online course, plus 8 weekly coaching calls to fine tune your progress and development and ensure you achieve your aim.

Whatever you decide I salute you for considering your options and making an informed decision for yourself and your future.

Here’s to your success and your mental strength.

Simon