The Next Chapter


It has been on my mind for a while now about clsoing down my website as my time and attention is taken up with Icarus Online.

Icarus is a nonprofit trust providing a charitable service that I set up with my friend David Bellamy in January this year and provides free, immediate access to mental health treatment for serving military personnel, veterans and members of UK’s emergency services including the prison service, as there is very little provision for the emergency services in particular.

I have now come to the decision that it is the right time to close thos site down and focus solely on Icarus and providing a much needed service.

I would be delighted for you to join me on the site www.icarusonline.net and follow us there, where you will continue to read blog posts about mental health and updates on our progression to change the military charities sector, mental helath provision for serving personnel and veterans and our training courses in Psychological First Aid, Hypnotherapy, Behavioural Coaching and Neuro Linguistics.

This site will officially cease to exist on 12th October 2018 and it would be great to have you continue to follow, read and feedback to the new site www.icarusonline.net and help us to spread the word about who we are, what we do and how we do it, as well as the changes we are working hard to create in the system.

Thank you so much for your support from the very beginning, I can not tell you how much I appreciate every single one of you for that and I would love to see you continue to do that in the next chapter of my vision and purpose.

Simon

 

ICARUS Online


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I wanted to share a link to an update from ICARUS Online, the non profit organisation I set up this January with my freind and colleague David Bellamy.

It is gaining momentum really fast and we are helping more and more people, and more and more people are helping us which is awesome. It’s all about teamwork and really positive and powerful collaboration to get things done.

So here’s the link to the website and another directly to the blog post.

https://icarusonline.net/icarus-online-supported-by-scottish-fire-rescue-service/

https://icarusonline.net

Simon

Mind-Matters Podcast Series #4: Judith Hammond


This episode is a conversation with Judith Hammond who I first met in 2013 as we were on the same NLP Trainers course. Judith tals about being abused by her mother physically, mentally, verbally and psychologically/emotionally.

Judith explains how this conditioned her through her life and how she coped with this and work place bullying, abusive relationships and always managing to find the reserves to be there for her own kids despite all this.

It’s a deep and emotional conversation full of amazing insight into her life and how she has dealt with traumatic experiences. I have no doubt that like me, you will gain so much from it.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode and the others then please share them with your friends, family, colleagues and leave your thoughts and comments and your own experiences.

 

 

Forces & Veterans Mental Health Helpline


It’s been a busy time since before Christmas in my house with a trip to New York to speak for the NYPD Hostage Negotiation Unit and the New York Association of Hostage Negotiators and the FBI/NYPD Joint Terrorism Task Force. This month I’m speaking as part of the Seton Hall School of Law in Newark’s Spring 18 Crisis Negotiation Course, to talk about hostage survival.

We also sold our house and found a new one just before I left for New York, so straight after Christmas and New Year, it was all hands on deck to pack up the house ready to move on the 19th January so it’s been a tad crazy, to say the least.

In amongst all this, I have been discussing, planning and beginning the creation of two new initiatives with a very good friend of mine and fellow psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, David Bellamy, read all about his work here: www.davidbellamy.org

Through David, we have connected with three former Generals; Peter Currie, John McColl, and Andrew Graham. We also have onboard former Colonel David Richmond CBE who is about to finish working as Recovery Director at Help 4 Heroes and chairman of the Contact Group.

The first initiative is to update the working structure of the military charity sector. At present it is unregulated, there are no minimum standards of operation required for start-up and ongoing and this has lead to many people being neglected, ignored and falling by the wayside. Over the last ten years, these are the people I have treated for PTSD and all it’s associated conditions and this working group that has come together is in complete agreement that things must change. The irony is that the system is not failing people because of a lack of funding, it is failing them because there is far too much bureaucracy, red tape, and BS.

I am not by any means saying that it’s all bad, there are some great people doing great work for many people, however, as with any system there is always room for improvement and it is now time to implement changes that mean more people can benefit from those positive changes.

Some of the changes being discussed are:

  • a national standard on military charities that require them to furnish proof of certain minimum standards and accessibility in return for which they become approved on a national list.
  • sharing of resources, information, and learning because at present this does not happen. There are 350+ military charities and mostly working in isolation which is crazy considering what could be achieved with total collaboration and cooperation. This would entail national sharing of resources, treatment, response and technical ability.
  • run both initiatives as a not-for-profit organisation

The second initiative which has been easier to get going is a national free phone number for serving and veterans to access advice, help, and guidance on mental health issues.  Ironically, while I was looking into setting something like this up, Lord Dannatt wrote an article in the Daily Mail on 14th January, you can read the full article here, Lord Dannatt’s article in the Daily Mail

In the article, he states that the government had declined the option to set up a 24/7 mental health helpline for serving personnel because it would not be cost-effective. The outcome of their assessment of needs concluded that it would require 40 therapists, cost £2m and attract less than 50 calls per year. This does not make sense because if they needed 40 therapists then they would be expecting far more than 50 calls a year surely?

My own research into costs showed that it is cheap to get started and can be increased as demand requires, so we have set up a freephone number 0800 6890864 for all serving and veterans to call should they have mental health concerns for themselves or someone they know. The company we chose to provide the phone service has given us 90 days free trial and then its £24.99 +VAT per month, we have two therapists available at present and we are building a list of volunteers to help as demand grows. So the cost is far from prohibitive as the government suggested.

Our aim for this is to provide unbiased, impartial, confidential, free advice, guidance and help for people serving in the British Armed Forces and veterans with mental health issues. We no longer want people to feel ashamed, afraid, embarrassed about asking for help, and as we are not connected with the MoD or government in any way we offer complete confidentiality. A large part of what we aim to achieve is to create a network of charities and organisations that we can steer people towards to access the specialist help they need that’s local to them. We also provide counseling, therapy, and coaching as part of our service.

I emailed Lord Dannatt and through his PA I now have a telephone conversation booked for Monday 12th February to discuss what we have done so far, what our future plans are and take advice and guidance from Lord Dannatt to ensure that we at least match his expectations of this sort of service.

I have also been in touch with ITV’s This Morning and my email is with the planning team who do the scheduling so I am keeping my fingers crossed. On top of this, a new friend Stephen Finlayson is helping by speaking to his connections at the BBC who he dealt with for a programme about him from a couple of years ago and also introducing me to people he knows at the CTP, (Careers Transition Partnership) who organise resettlement for people leaving the forces.

We are looking for funding and support across the board, so if you have any ideas or would like to help us in any way then please get in touch via my email simon@simonmaryan.com or via the facebook page which is Forces & Veterans Mental Health Helpline Facebook Page 

Please share this with your friends, family, colleagues etc and help us to spread the word about the service we offer and what we are striving to achieve.

Here’s to a very successful 2018 for all of us.

Simon

Mind-Matters Series Video#9: Why Do We Limit Ourselves?


It’s a strange thing about human beings, we are often our own worst enemy because of how and what we think. We deny ourselves the opportunity to improve and grow purely because we limit ourselves through a lack of self-belief, lack of confidence and all because we think we can’t do it, can’t have it, can’t be it, don’t deserve it. These thoughts come about through conditioning from other people as well as our own homegrown rhetoric and are often developed through a lack of focus and understanding of what it is we actually want for ourselves.

This lack of awareness and focus can be hugely detrimental to our lives in terms of achieving what we want, yet it can take just a few minutes a day of learning to focus our minds, clearing the crap (thoughts and behaviours) and setting it on the right path at the beginning of each day enables you to become aware of what does make you happy, what really flicks your switch and then you can start to take action and make changes in your life and design the one YOU want and not one that others want for you.

I hope this video gives you food for thought and is a starting point and/or a catalyst for you to start from.

As always I’m here for guidance.

Simon

Mind-Matters Series Video#8: Get Shit Done


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If your head has ever felt like it is full of too much shit and you can’t think straight, can’t make a decision, can’t get motivated to do what you want and/or need to do and you find yourself procrastinating.

Well, here is a short video explaining why we procrastinate and what we can do to change those negative habits of creating excuses not to do what we want or need to do. Below is a link to my Goal Setting pdf that is yours to download for free and while you’re there take a look at the other downloads available there for free too.

https://simonmaryan.com/free-stuff/

 

Being Sceptical and Open Minded


Yesterday I had a comment from a lady who had watched the video of a session I did with a client where I used my Emotional Release Technique. This lady’s name is Paula and she followed along with my instructions as the video played and in her comment she admits that she was sceptical before hand as she did not believe it would be so simple or so effective. Here’s her comment:

“So impressed! I did this along with the video & was amazed that it does actually work,

this is not set up or fake at all. No disrespect but I was sceptical & could not understand

how this was possible & that maybe she was deliberately moving her arms but I was soooo

wrong! My arms actually moved with the negative & positive thoughts. It was an

overwhelming realisation that I have so many strengths & qualities but was overburdened

with a sense of not being good enough & being insecure. That has now changed! I burst in

to tears when focusuing on the distance between the two but that was because I realised

with so much clarity how much i was holding myself back by allowing negativity being so

dominant. I feel so free & unburdened now & will definitely use this often to redress the

balance & reafirm the positive. such a profoundly amazing feeling of calm, feeling light &

happy. So Simple yet so effective, wish I’d discovered it sooner! Thank you!! 🙂 x”

I completely agree with her initial doubts and scepticism, I think it’s important to be sceptical and not walk headlong into things that you have no evidence to prove or disprove it. It is also important to have an open mind and test things out so that you can prove or disprove it for yourself, this is how we progress and learn as human beings, we test theories, we study and test other peoples strategies, how they work and see if they work for us as well.

So be sceptical and keep an open mind or you could miss out on some amazing experiences and not learn something extremely valuable for you. Paula wouldn’t have had the amazing experience she had if she hasn’t kept an open mind and would not have learnt a valuable skill that she now has for the rest of her life.

Here’s the video again so you can watch it and maybe even try it out for yourself.

Creative Reframing


A wise old gentleman had retired and bought himself a modest home near a school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. However, when the new school year began, the very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful exuberance and post school enthusiasm, came down his street, banging merrily on every dustbin they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. He stopped them and said, “You boys are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favour? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the dustbins.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. “This recessions really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.” The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

“Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?” “A quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think were going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re mad! No way, we quit!” And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.

Changes In Treatment Approaches For PTSD


Below is an article taken from the APA website that I find extremely interesting and reassuring that the military is not restricting themselves to CBT and EMDR in treating serving personnel struggling with PTSD.

A psychodynamic treatment for PTSD shows promise for soldiers
March 2012, Vol 43, No. 3
Print version: page 11

PTSD
While cognitive-behavioral therapy remains the most well-researched treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, it doesn’t help all patients. That’s especially true for service members who have been perpetrators as well as victims of violence, says Russell B. Carr, MD, an Army psychiatrist.
“It’s a much more complicated experience, and they often feel a lot of shame in addition to the usual PTSD symptoms,” he says.

For the past six years, Carr has been working with soldiers who haven’t responded to cognitive-behavioral therapy, and he’s developed a new treatment rooted in intersubjective systems theory. This modern take on psychoanalysis pioneered by Robert Stolorow, PhD, posits that the heart of trauma is shame and isolation.
Carr’s therapy, described in the October 2011 issue of Psychoanalytic Psychology, has shown promise helping soldiers who haven’t responded to CBT by addressing the existential dread dredged up by trauma, and the feeling that their entire world has lost meaning. Though Carr’s goals are ambitious, his intervention is relatively short—requiring twice-weekly sessions for up to three months. As a result, the therapist must clearly define goals, keep conversations on track and quickly establish rapport with clients, Carr found.

Short-term therapy—which is typical of CBT, but less common with psychoanalytic approaches—is often the only option in military settings, he says.
“In the military, there is frequently the situation where a patient or therapist is leaving soon,” says Carr. “It’s a transient population, and it limits the length of time we have to work together.”

A key part of intersubjective therapy is helping clients put their feelings around traumatic experiences into words. These feelings aren’t always negative. One patient described in the article found he enjoyed the smell of burning human flesh, and was later horrified and ashamed of his initial reaction. By expressing empathy and not rejecting the soldier, Carr helped the soldier process the experience and reconnect with the civilian world.

Convincing soldiers that a therapist—as well as friends and family—can understand a little of what they are going through lessens their PTSD symptoms, Carr found. In some cases, soldiers even learn from the experience, he says. “Recognizing the fragility of life, you can refocus on what’s important to you, and not waste time on things that aren’t.”
—S. Dingfelder