Life Design


For a long time I thought I was happy with my job, I was doing what I’d set to do in joining the Royal Marines. I worked with like-minded people, got paid to stay exceptionally fit, got fed four times a day and was provided with a roof over my head. The trade-off was that I was expected to do what I was told do whether I liked it or not and, some of the things I was asked to do I really didn’t like. However I was still happy living my dream.

Or so I thought.

Continue reading Life Design

Life Design Enables Mastering of Self-renewal and Generativity


10 skills  required to change yourself …

Managing the change cycle is a self-renewing process. It empowers people to be self-confident and generative. Generativity is defined as a process whereby we learn to follow our deeper interests and longings and bring about change. It helps us to avoid the dangers of self-absorption and stagnation because we learn to live in new ways that expand our horizons. The following are 10 skills for managing the change cycle. Each skill has a time in the cycle when it performs a critical function, however, all 10 skills are important at all times because to some degree parts of our lives are simultaneously at various places in the cycle.

Visioning or Dreaming the Plan – The dream or vision is the driving force for the life structure, a source of passion and values. The plan is the plot for making the dream happen.

Launching – Launching puts the plan to action; it requires commitment and personal mission.

Plateauing – Plateauing is the art of sustaining a successful life structure…. It is knowing when and how to keep enriching the dream/plan for as long as it makes sense to do so.

Managing the Doldrums – This requires coming to terms with decline, negative emotions, and feeling trapped in an increasingly dysfunctional life structure.

Sorting Things Out – Choosing what to keep, what to eliminate or change, what to add, and how to proceed into a revitalised life structure is the task of this step of the change cycle.

Ending a Life Structure – This requires an ability to say farewell with gratitude and clarity, which frees you to consider your next options.

Restructuring – This mini-transition can be used if the life structure could be improved through some specific changes.

Cocooning – The transition into a new life structure requires turning inward to take stock, to identify your own basic values, and to disengage emotionally and mentally from the former life structure.

Self-Renewal – Following successful cocooning, this step involves a rebirth of self-esteem, a re-evaluation of core issues and beliefs, and the recovery of hope and purpose.

Experimenting – Creativity, learning, risk taking, and networking give one a sense of purpose and power in creating a new life structure.

SELF-RENEWAL FOR COACHING AND SELF-COACHING

Finding meaning in our work is critical if we are to avoid stagnation and boredom (Bergquist et al. 1993). It is the responsibility of each individual to effect the change necessary to reinvent work so that it has personal relevance. Many companies are now requiring that employees take responsibility for their own professional development.

Some critical strategies required when being coached:

  • Honest assessment of self and skills
  • Genuine motivation and drive to establish and pursue a goal
  • Understanding and knowledge of the strategic challenges of their position and business
  • Commitment to establishing an action plan that is built upon realistic expectations and that draws upon available resources, both within and outside the company
  • Being able to accomplish successful career/professional development transitions within an existing organisation/life structure
  • Creating a new organisation/life structure requires personal motivation.
  • Successful transition is linked with one’s sense of autonomy or internal locus of control, and manifested in a willingness to learn and a positive attitude. It is the force that propels individuals to take the initiative in directing their own lives and careers.

Many people find value in their work as a source of new learning and challenge. “They return to school, enter training programs, or enroll in workshops and seminars to keep up to date in their current jobs or strike out on their own” (Bergquist). Others, hampered by lack of drive, fear of failure, or reluctance to exit company retirement plans by terminating employment, stay in unsatisfying and/or stressful jobs. Bergquist et al. ask if the sacrifice is necessary or worthwhile. “When does the time come for us to cease deferring gratification for the future and begin actually living the fabled future?”. Whatever their age, adults must find meaning and community in their work if they want to be generative and alive. Therefore, they must look toward continued opportunities to reinvent work as a central part of reinventing themselves.

“Life Design” takes all these factors into account both personally and professionally and helps you make the right choices for your future.

What Are Your Biggest Challenges Right Now?


2013-11-26 21.58.54

Over the next few weeks I’m going to be designing something completely new and I’d like to ask you what you really want to change about your life.

I’d really appreciate it if you could take just a few minutes to tell me what is your single biggest challenge you’re struggling with in your life right now, it would mean the world to me AND even more importantly I’ll be able to use that information to create webinars and blog posts around topics you want to know more about.

http://SimonMaryan.formstack.com/forms/simonmaryan_copy

I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and thank you if you choose to take the survey as it may help a whole load of other people. How great a start to the week would that be 🙂

Have a fantastic week

Simon

Break Free from Smoking Using Hypnotherapy


Stop Smoking

This article is adapted from John Melton’s original post in 2005:

hypnosis.edu/articles/smoking/cessation

People are often skeptical about hypnosis and its ability to aid in smoking cessation. Because of my many years of experience helping people break free form smoking, I understand the skepticism. The purpose of this article is to help people understand the benefits of hypnosis as a smoking cessation aid.

First and most important is to understand that smoking is an addiction. Popular media has informed us about the obvious addictive potential of nicotine but not much is discussed about the psychological part of this addiction.

Cigarettes find their way into the very fabric of everyday life, becoming a part of so many activities. Habits are formed, creating associative relationships to things like food and alcohol or even driving a car. Smokers also learn to identify themselves with cigarettes, and after a while, it seems to become a part of them. You must understand that psychological cravings are just as real as chemical ones.

Perhaps most importantly cigarettes become for most people, part of a coping mechanism to try to deal with emotional pressures like stress and boredom. When a smoker becomes upset, he or she reaches for the cigarette to try and feel better. The truth is that cigarettes are a false friend that tries to control and injure you, it is an abusive relationship. There are much more positive ways to learn to calm and feel better without replacing smoking with food and putting on weight. You can learn how.

Recent publications tell us that our bodies eliminate the need for nicotine only a few days after we quit smoking. If it was purely a physical addiction, we would be done with smoking after a few days off the cigarette. But as most smokers know, the cravings usually continue when they try to quit cold turkey far after those first few days are over. This is because of the psychological needs that continue to drive the motivation to smoke through the many association stat develop over time.

This is where hypnosis helps. Hypnosis is an excellent tool for re-learning. By changing subconscious motivations to smoke you will change the habits and associations that drive much of this behaviour. You can also learn new coping skills so that the cigarette is not needed during stressful or emotional times. With these new attitudes and tools, getting through the first couple of days of the chemical addiction is usually much easier. Dealing with both the chemical and the psychological addiction is the real key to long term smoking cessation.

As you can imagine, with a smart plan and new tools and new attitudes about smoking, you can learn how to change the habits and healthfully deal with the emotional strains of a life free from cigarettes.

Hypnosis is not magic, it is a powerful tool. With professional help and understanding and if you really want to quit and are willing to put in some effort and invest in yourself, you really can quit smoking for life.

I have had great success with both my face to face and self help Break Free from Smoking programmes and there is more information on my Brain2Body Product page at the top and also details of sessions in the Hypno-Psychotherapy page.