Life Design


For a long time I thought I was happy with my job, I was doing what I’d set to do in joining the Royal Marines. I worked with like-minded people, got paid to stay exceptionally fit, got fed four times a day and was provided with a roof over my head. The trade-off was that I was expected to do what I was told do whether I liked it or not and, some of the things I was asked to do I really didn’t like. However I was still happy living my dream.

Or so I thought.

Continue reading Life Design

Life Design Enables Mastering of Self-renewal and Generativity


10 skills  required to change yourself …

Managing the change cycle is a self-renewing process. It empowers people to be self-confident and generative. Generativity is defined as a process whereby we learn to follow our deeper interests and longings and bring about change. It helps us to avoid the dangers of self-absorption and stagnation because we learn to live in new ways that expand our horizons. The following are 10 skills for managing the change cycle. Each skill has a time in the cycle when it performs a critical function, however, all 10 skills are important at all times because to some degree parts of our lives are simultaneously at various places in the cycle.

Visioning or Dreaming the Plan – The dream or vision is the driving force for the life structure, a source of passion and values. The plan is the plot for making the dream happen.

Launching – Launching puts the plan to action; it requires commitment and personal mission.

Plateauing – Plateauing is the art of sustaining a successful life structure…. It is knowing when and how to keep enriching the dream/plan for as long as it makes sense to do so.

Managing the Doldrums – This requires coming to terms with decline, negative emotions, and feeling trapped in an increasingly dysfunctional life structure.

Sorting Things Out – Choosing what to keep, what to eliminate or change, what to add, and how to proceed into a revitalised life structure is the task of this step of the change cycle.

Ending a Life Structure – This requires an ability to say farewell with gratitude and clarity, which frees you to consider your next options.

Restructuring – This mini-transition can be used if the life structure could be improved through some specific changes.

Cocooning – The transition into a new life structure requires turning inward to take stock, to identify your own basic values, and to disengage emotionally and mentally from the former life structure.

Self-Renewal – Following successful cocooning, this step involves a rebirth of self-esteem, a re-evaluation of core issues and beliefs, and the recovery of hope and purpose.

Experimenting – Creativity, learning, risk taking, and networking give one a sense of purpose and power in creating a new life structure.

SELF-RENEWAL FOR COACHING AND SELF-COACHING

Finding meaning in our work is critical if we are to avoid stagnation and boredom (Bergquist et al. 1993). It is the responsibility of each individual to effect the change necessary to reinvent work so that it has personal relevance. Many companies are now requiring that employees take responsibility for their own professional development.

Some critical strategies required when being coached:

  • Honest assessment of self and skills
  • Genuine motivation and drive to establish and pursue a goal
  • Understanding and knowledge of the strategic challenges of their position and business
  • Commitment to establishing an action plan that is built upon realistic expectations and that draws upon available resources, both within and outside the company
  • Being able to accomplish successful career/professional development transitions within an existing organisation/life structure
  • Creating a new organisation/life structure requires personal motivation.
  • Successful transition is linked with one’s sense of autonomy or internal locus of control, and manifested in a willingness to learn and a positive attitude. It is the force that propels individuals to take the initiative in directing their own lives and careers.

Many people find value in their work as a source of new learning and challenge. “They return to school, enter training programs, or enroll in workshops and seminars to keep up to date in their current jobs or strike out on their own” (Bergquist). Others, hampered by lack of drive, fear of failure, or reluctance to exit company retirement plans by terminating employment, stay in unsatisfying and/or stressful jobs. Bergquist et al. ask if the sacrifice is necessary or worthwhile. “When does the time come for us to cease deferring gratification for the future and begin actually living the fabled future?”. Whatever their age, adults must find meaning and community in their work if they want to be generative and alive. Therefore, they must look toward continued opportunities to reinvent work as a central part of reinventing themselves.

“Life Design” takes all these factors into account both personally and professionally and helps you make the right choices for your future.

Beginning Today


Beginning Today

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.

Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value the gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self- improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before. I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.

Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy… admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favourite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath… Pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savour all the various flavours life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be. Beginning Today, ……………..and Every day.

Build Your Self Discipline and Increase your Success


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I regularly work with clients who say things to me like, “I can’t do that” or “I’ll never have/be/do that”, etc, etc. Now there are a load of things going on with these small statements that have to be addressed in order for these people to make a break through, things such as limiting beliefs, perception, mindset, attitude and a certain lack of motivation due to all of these things. This can have a hugely negative effect on a persons self discipline and motivation to actually succeed and to work towards success.

Personal success, achievement, or goal, can’t be realised without self-discipline. It is possibly the most important attribute needed to achieve any type of personal excellence, athletic excellence, virtuosity in the arts, or any form of outstanding performance, because without it, there is no consistency and continuity of effort towards achieving that goal.

What is Self-Discipline?

It is the ability to control emotions, thoughts, impulses, desires and behaviours. It is being able to say No, to immediate pleasure and instant gratification in favour of gaining the long-term satisfaction and fulfillment from achieving higher and more meaningful goals.

To possess self-discipline is to be able to make the decisions, take the actions, and execute your game plan regardless of the obstacles, discomfort, or difficulties, which may come your way.

Being disciplined does not mean living a limiting or a restrictive lifestyle, nor does it mean giving up everything you enjoy, or, to relinquish fun and relaxation. However, it does mean learning how to focus your mind and energies on your goals and persevere until they are accomplished.

It does means cultivating a mindset lead by your deliberate choices rather than by your negative emotions, bad habits, or the sway of others who do not have your necessarily have the same desires as you. Self-discipline allows you to reach your goals in a reasonable time frame and to live a more orderly and satisfying life.

How To Develop Self-Discipline
it’s best to start with small steps, because no new process takes place overnight. Just as it takes time to build muscle, so does it take time to develop self-discipline? The more you train and build it, the stronger you become. In exercise, if you try to do too much at once, you risk injuring yourself and setting yourself back. Likewise, take it one step at a time in building self-discipline, begin by making the decision to go forward and learning what it takes to get there.

Learn what motivates you and what your negative triggers are and this begins by learning about yourself! Sometimes it is very difficult to fight off urges and cravings, so identify the areas where your resistance is low and how to avoid those situations. If you know you can’t resist cake, fries, or other temptations – stay away from them, do not have them around to lure you into moments of weakness. If you also know that putting pressure on yourself does not work for you, then set yourself up in an environment that encourages the building of self-discipline rather than one that sabotages it. Remove the temptations and surround yourself with soothing and encouraging items such as motivating slogans and pictures of what you want to achieve.

Learn also what energises and motivates you. Your willpower can go up and down with your energy levels so play energetic music to perk you up, move around, and laugh. Train yourself to enjoy what you are doing by being energised as this will make it easier to implement desirable and appropriate behaviours into your daily routine – which is really what self-discipline is all about.

Make the right behaviours a routine. Once you have decided what’s important to you and which goals to strive for, establish a daily routine that will help you achieve them. For example, if you want to eat healthily or lose weight; resolve to eat several servings of lean protein and green vegetables each day and exercise for at least half an hour.

Make it part of your daily routine and part of your self-discipline building. Likewise, get rid of some of your bad, self-defeating habits, whatever they may be. They can put you in a negative frame of mind and hinder your self-discipline. A poor attitude is also a self destructive bad habit.

Practice Self-Denial

Learn to say no to some of your feelings, impulses and urges. Train yourself to do what you know to be right, even if you don’t feel like doing it. Skip dessert some evenings. Limit your TV watching. Resist the urge to yell at someone who has irritated you. Stop and think before you act. Think about the consequences. When you practice self-restraint it helps you develop the habit of keeping other things under control.

Engage in Sports or Other Physical Activities

Sports are an excellent way to enhance self- discipline. They train you to set goals, they focus your mental energy and exercises you emotional energies, enables you to become physically fit, and teaches you to get along well with others by working as part of a team. Participating in sports provides a situation where you learn to work hard and strive to do your best, which in turn, teaches you to integrate the same the thought processes and disciplines into your everyday life.

Learning to play a musical instrument can be another great way to practice self-discipline. The focus, repetition, and application required in learning to play an instrument is invaluable. Achieving self-discipline in any one area of your life re-programs your mind to choose what is right, rather than what is easy.

Create Your Mindset for Self-Discipline

Get inspiration from those you admire. There are so many inspirational people i the world today and from throughout history. read books by or about these people and draw inspiration from them. Sporting greats such as Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, Gary player. Great leaders throughout history; Alexander the Great, Winston Churchill. Philosophers such as Aristotle who said:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit”.

Visualise the Rewards

There is nothing more gratifying than accomplishing your goals. Practice the technique that high achievers and top athletes do and practice projecting yourself in to the future with your imagination. Visualise your desired outcome. See how your life can be different, hear how differently you talk about your self and how others do, feel how rewarding it is and the countless benefits you will enjoy. Remind yourself what it takes to get there.

The Benefits
It helps build self-confidence.
You accomplish more, and are therefore more productive.
You are able to maintain a higher tolerance for frustration, obstacles and negative emotions.
Allows you to obtain better health, better finances and a good work ethic.
You are able to reach your most difficult goals more efficiently.
The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets.
If we are to be masters of our own destiny, we must develop self-discipline and self-control. By focusing on long-term benefits instead of short-term discomfort, we can encourage ourselves to develop of self-discipline. Ultimately our health and happiness depend on it.

If you would like to join my online goal setting workshop group then drop me an email on simon@simonmaryan.com and take advantage of a free 20 minute strategy session with me and find out how you can build your self discipline and achieve your goals.

Here’s to your increased success, health and happiness

Simon

Create The Life you Want


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Every now and again life bares it’s teeth and bites you in the arse with them and that’s ok, because it gives you an opportunity to prove to yourself that you are made of tougher stuff, you are bolder, you are braver than you realised and that you can achieve so much more.

Today is a new day and a fresh opportunity to make a bold move in your life!! How you approach today makes all the difference in how it ends, it is your mindset, your attitude, your perceptions that make it what it is. So, face it with courage, faith in yourself and a can-do attitude and make a choice to create a shift in your health, career, relationships, and all those decisions in your life that you have been putting off.

We all need a dream yet when you have a dream that doesn’t need any help from others, then your dream is not big enough! Dream big and look for help and support from like minded people that can help you grow and shift up to the next level. Work for your own success not someone else’s, there are plenty of people doing that already!

When you commit to being a powerful force for good, for yourself as well as other people and a positive agent of change in the world, you will be surprised at what can happen. Have some fun and expand your capacity to dream, believe, create and learn to say no, no way, and no thank-you to requests that steal your time and the ability to choose and create a more expansive future for yourself. Life is way to short and precious to allow that to happen in your life.

So get up, wake up and get out of your own way and refuse to replay a past that you can not relive or change, or a future that you can not see or control. Be present, grounded and decide to create a life that you love! You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life.

Defusing The Power of Limiting Beliefs


How often are you full of good intentions and then never follow through on them?

Maybe you tell yourself it’s about time you made a few changes in your life, but feel you aren’t able to take action.

You may even be passionate about life, but run into countless roadblocks along the way.

When you get to the root cause of your failure, more often than not it is your own limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that are keeping you from your success. In most cases, you are a thought or two away from achieving success. So a single positive change can make all the difference in your life.

As you discover how to disengage yourself both emotionally and mentally from negative thoughts, you’ll watch your potential rise.

Even though it may sound a little strange, you may be surprised how much of an effect your limiting beliefs are having on you, and when you remove their power, you have a chance to dramatically improve your life. I am certain that when you break free from those limiting beliefs you’ll experience 90% of your goals and dreams being reached.

However, don’t anticipate a miraculous overnight transition in how you think and eel. You’ve been feeding negative thoughts and behavioural patterns for years and self-doubt has a hold on you. These years of negativity have an impact on your way of thinking and have impacted your confidence. You will find that when you stick with it, you can begin to experience an extraordinary change in your life.

Those old thought patterns aren’t your fault either. As a child, many of your views of the world stem from the experiences you’ve had and the influences from your parents, family, friends and teachers etc. This includes the belief and expectations for happiness, along with living a passionate life.

Even when you come from a stable, loving family, you can still face these struggles. The limiting beliefs may stem from interactions you’ve had with peers, social pressure or other events that have occurred in your life. As you move forward and you struggle, you begin to experience negative feelings about yourself and soon, you allow those dark thoughts to begin taking control over your life. In some cases, limiting you from ever reaching your full potential as you become self sabotaging because you don’t feel you deserve to achieve your goals. This is quite a common occurrence believe it or not.

As more time passes, these beliefs are further engrained in our minds. They become real to us and they begin to guide our fears. As we become adults, there are additional stresses, disappointments and responsibilities that begin to reaffirm the fears we have. This leads us to justify these limiting beliefs.

I want you to do a quick exercise. Imagine your life where none of the stuff that lead to these engrained limiting beliefs took place. You have a clean slate and all the possibilities of the world are open to you with absolutely no road blocks in your life and you believe can try and achieve anything.

To help you relate to this, think of a time when things went your way, or felt like they were. Even if you weren’t the smartest or most popular, you still were there and life is good, where would you stand? That is important to take into consideration for this.

Another important factor that you must not overlook, is your parents do not control your destiny, you do. Critical parents are often the dream crushers of the world. As an adult, they have no control over what you accomplish. Former teachers and peers who told you that a dream was impossible, they have no power over you either unless you allow it. The only person with any power over your life, unless you are willing to give it to someone else, is you.

Your abilities and skills are yours, so own them. When you accept that and own that, you can begin to transform your life and push yourself harder to reach your goals.

The limiting beliefs in your life aren’t something that can dominate you any longer. Before you know it, you have the enthusiasm and energy to take back control over your life. When you do:

  • You can do all the things your heart dreams of.
  • You can make things happen.
  • You’ll discover that passion for life you once had.
  • You can work past fear and take back your life.

Stop allowing your limiting beliefs to define who you are. Take back your life and realise that living in the past actually negatively impacts your life, and prevents you from finding your true happiness.

To get a better understanding of your own limiting beliefs, it can help to begin asking yourself some probing questions. These questions will give you some insight into why you are thinking the way you do.

15 Questions To Break You Free From Your Own Limiting Beliefs

1. What is your most debilitating limiting belief?
We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back. When you know which one is perhaps the strongest, you can begin to remove it from your life. Do you not feel like you’re good enough? Do you believe you aren’t making enough money? Are you under the impression you are unattractive or not smart? enough

2. Why is this limiting belief there, where did it come from?
This is a question you need to keep asking yourself until you answer it. Begin to write down all the reasons in your mind, regardless of how minor they are. Then keep this list.

3. Is there any evidence which proves this limiting belief wrong?
This is hugely important. There are things in your life, which will prove the limiting belief isn’t true. As you progress through these items, you’ll begin to realise most of the mental road blocks you have created are completely wrong and unfounded.

4. What ways are you not truly alive and engaged in your own life?
If the limiting belief you have prevents you from having a fulfilling and joyful life, make note of it. Create a list of all the areas where this is holding you back and what you can do to change it.

5. How does it make you feel to know you’ve missed out on these areas in your life?
Your feelings are important to recognise embrace. You know you’re missing out and these limiting beliefs are preventing you from truly experiencing your life. Explore these feelings and look at how you can take back control of your life.

6. If these beliefs were no longer there, how would you change your life?
Close your eyes and imagine that these limiting beliefs nom longer existed in your life. How would this change your life for the better? What new goals would you set for yourself? How would you be able to change your life?

7. Do your limiting beliefs have any merit?
Is there actually a case where this belief has any validity to it? What supporting evidence do you have? Write them down.

8. If you answered yes and have evidence, what can you do about it?
Often, there are solutions to the problems and perceptions. If education is legitimately holding you back, go to school. If you need money, raise some money. But find out what is limiting you and find a solution.

9. What is your greatest fear in terms of the outcome of your limiting belief?
Are you concerned with rejection, someone not liking you or simply being humiliated? What is the worst thing that could happen if something goes wrong? Now, what is the best thing that could happen if it goes right?

10. In reality, what is the likelihood of this happening?
Living in a realm of fear, we often believe we are facing something that is the only possibility. When in reality, the chances of the nightmare actually happening are slim to none. So how likely is it that the worst possible scenario will happen?

11. How comfortable would you be with taking chances, despite the uncertainty?
Let’s be realistic, everything you do in life has a risk. There are so many different potential outcomes for every decision you can face and you need to decide if you take the easy route and always succeed and never find happiness. Or, if you take a chance and put things on the line in the hope of making your dreams come true. It’s all about assessing what your options are and are you prepared to take a calculated risk in order to achieve what you want. If you’re not then you probably don’t want your goal as much as you thought. If that’s the case you need to rethink your goal.

12. How are your limiting beliefs impacting past and current relationships?
You need to understand that your beliefs impact your relationships. You need to take a close look at your life and take a look at how your beliefs currently affect your relationships and what can you do to change those beliefs if they are having a negative effect. Equally how can you strengthen beliefs that have a positive effect?

13. Do you think you’d be comfortable taking your list of limiting beliefs and sealing them in an envelope?
When you’ve done this, you put them on hold and pretend they are not real. As you begin to work away from those old limiting beliefs, you can imagine living your life as if you’ve never had them and that your life has been and will continue to be full of opportunities and achievement.

14. What is the most pressing or compelling goal you have that you wished you could accomplish?
This is an important question to ask yourself. What is the one thing that your limiting belief/s has kept you away from? If you were to remove the belief, could you achieve that goal? Is it something you’d truly like to work towards?

15. List 3 – 5 manageable goals you can do this week that move you closer to your ultimate goal, while the limiting beliefs are sealed away in the envelope.
For the exercise to work, you need to commit fully to the experience. You need to take action to move away from those old limiting beliefs and to work towards your goals. As you better isolate those old limiting beliefs and take back control of your life you’ll find you enjoy life so much more.

As you continue to follow through with this plan, you’ll find you are able to achieve a great deal more success. In today’s modern world, you have an endless array of possibilities available to you, as long as you let go of your old limiting beliefs.

Routinely go through the steps above and do what you can to continue to progress forward. Within a few weeks of following these steps you’ll discover that you do have the power inside of yourself to make the changes necessary in your life. Then you can begin to work towards making all of your dreams a reality.

If you would like to really drive this home and reset your beliefs so that they work for you as opposed to against you, drop me an email and we can discuss how to do this with a Transformational Belief Change Coaching Session via Skype. Along with this session you will receive the following free gifts:

  • Complimentary ebook pack selected specifically for you that will help keep you moving forwards towards your goals
  • Life Design Manual in PDF
  • Free Hypnosis Audio Download

To discuss in more detail and to book your session email me on: simon@simonmaryan.com

To your continued happiness and success

Simon

Keys To Successful Fatloss Part 2: Self Perception


What Are Your Biggest Challenges Right Now?


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Over the next few weeks I’m going to be designing something completely new and I’d like to ask you what you really want to change about your life.

I’d really appreciate it if you could take just a few minutes to tell me what is your single biggest challenge you’re struggling with in your life right now, it would mean the world to me AND even more importantly I’ll be able to use that information to create webinars and blog posts around topics you want to know more about.

http://SimonMaryan.formstack.com/forms/simonmaryan_copy

I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and thank you if you choose to take the survey as it may help a whole load of other people. How great a start to the week would that be 🙂

Have a fantastic week

Simon

New Workshop: “Life Design”


I have been listening to a lot of people over the last couple of months who are fed up with their current jobs and where they currently are on their lives, they’re not as happy and content as they expected to be.

So, I have created a brand new 1 day course called ‘Life Design’, which is all about helping you discover what is really important to you, what you really want to be doing with your life both personally and professionally. During this day you will work out your personal and professional values and the beliefs that support them, set goals that enable you to fulfil them and take you to exactly where you want to be, instead of it being just a distant wish.

The venue is being secured at the moment and the cost for this workshop is £125 per person which includes lunch all refreshments and course notes.

So, to start designing the life you want, all you have to do to book your place and to ask any questions email me on simon@simonmaryan.com

Why do our memories of events change over time?


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I have been fascinated by the human brain for as long as I can remember, and how it stores information and recalls it for use when it is relevant and matches what is going on at the time.

I have studied how we all have our own perception of an event and how we all remember it slightly differently, which can be an advantage because we all notice different aspects. This means that as a group we can potentially piece together a more accurate picture of what happened.

However, this very interesting little article highlights how our brains update our memories to make them more relevant to the present, which distorts the original and therefore changing it and making it inaccurate to the original event. This has pros and cons,, as with many things in life and it makes for very interesting reading.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/02/04/271527934/our-brains-rewrite-our-memories-putting-present-in-the-past