Reframing Your Resolutions for Success


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Have you ever been your own worst critic, especially at this time of year when it comes to your new years resolution about losing that fat that’s crept up on you and got you in that immovable bear hug? How many times have you made that same resolution, made some progress then got distracted, injured, fed up, pissed of, bored, confused with all the hype and bullshit out there and then completely de-motivated?

Trying harder is often not the solution. Making resolutions from a place of mixed emotions such as guilt, shame etc, and from a state of confusion will always end in failure. The way to make a resolution that will actually work is to let all that negative shit go for a while and work on forgiving yourself for being where you are and accepting you for who you are right now. Once you reach this point you can dive back in to pursuing what you desire for yourself. But if you want to succeed, it has to come from a place of compassion.

I don’t like using the word goal these days, it’s far too corporate, clinical and not particularly motivating. I much prefer the word desire. When you focus in what you desire it generates very different emotions, feelings and thought processes and these are much more capable of developing the behaviours and habits that will get you tow what you desire.

Now I am very well aware that this may be a completely alien concept to you and that you may feel that this is easier said than done. Finding self-compassion can be quite a challenge at first, particularly if you are used to kicking your own arse when you don’t achieve what it is your set yourself, and the idea of forgiving yourself for being in the same situation time after time seems ridiculous. Yet while it might take a lot more self-reflection and exploration than counting calories and drinking green juices, compassion and forgiveness are the hidden keys to successful achievement in any area of your life. Here’s a few top tips.

1. Be compassionate towards yourself and find acceptance of where you’re at.
Begin by identifying the area where you’re stuck or dissatisfied in your life and approach it with compassion. This step can be difficult for people who feel sure that shame about their weight was the only thing standing in the way of gaining more weight.

It takes a lot of courage, patience, and self-reflection to release and reframe the belief that self-shaming is helping you stay in control. If you’re struggle with this, I strongly encourage you to honestly examine how that tactic has worked for you so far. Has it really helped you reach your desired result? If your answer is no, then are you ready to try something new?

2. Cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself.
Once you’re able to embrace compassion instead of shame, it’s time for the most important step: Explore ways that you can reframe your situation and forgive yourself for being where you are right now. While reframing looks different for everyone, it can sometimes be painful and anchored with emotional baggage. Be prepared to face your demons and don’t be afraid to reach out for support during this phase.

Reframing in this context requires two things: acceptance of the objective facts and willingness to subjectively reframe those facts in a more self-loving way. People often think they’re accepting the facts when they apply guilt and shame for where they’re at, but they’re not.

First of all be crystal clear about the actual facts. Separate your subjective stories (for instance, “I’m lazy and need to get in shape”) from the facts (“This is my body today”) and work to accept the literal truth of where you are. Don’t be surprised if your objective list is short: You are here, in this body, right now. Try looking in the mirror every morning and repeating to yourself, “This is what I look like today.”

You also need to reframe the subjective stories you tell yourself about how you got here, why you’re here, and what that means about who you are. The story you’ve believed so far is entirely subjective, it is just the reality that you’ve created to justify it to yourself, and must be rewritten to be kinder and more self-loving. It can be helpful to talk to people who love you. Tell them what you’re working on reframing and ask for their help.

3. Ask yourself, “What if this were a gift?”
I know this sounds completely mad, how could an extra 20 pounds be a gift? Bear with me here for a moment as you search for the gift in your struggle. You might be surprised to find that staying stuck has protected you from something you weren’t yet ready to handle, or that the change you’ve been trying to make actually goes against one of your highest values. Do you know what your core values are? Check out my free PDF that will take you step by step through the process of figuring them out.

How To Achieve Your Desired Goals

How to Feel Great Even When You’ve Gained Weight
After weeks of contemplation and journaling, a client of mine came to me one day with an answer to that question. She told me that the extra weight she carried protected her from unwanted male attention, and that she was absolutely terrified of what would happen if she lost it and became (in her words) “traditionally attractive.” She also said that other women saw her as non-threatening, because she wasn’t skinny. The weight had helped attract a great number of kind and supportive women into her life. In short, those 20 pounds truly were a gift, and her subconscious was reluctant to part with them.

This is how rewriting your personal story gives you the opportunity to forgive yourself. Mt client began to see that no matter how hard she tried to lose weight, she was always going to fail, because she valued safety and connection too highly.

No matter what your guilt ridden resolution might be, I assure you there is a very good reason you haven’t accomplished it, yet. There always is. Once you find that reason, you will also find compassion and forgiveness and be able to see what really needs to be done in order to move forward. For my client, that work meant learning to feel comfortable and safe in her own skin, healing from an old trauma that made her believe male attention was dangerous, and trusting that losing weight wouldn’t drive away the female connections she valued so deeply.

Compassion and forgiveness aren’t only useful for getting you unstuck; you can also use them to help you set goals from the get-go. Ask yourself what gift your habit has been and offer yourself a replacement before attempting your goal.

Take smoking as an example. If smoking offers you stress relief and common ground with friends, you’re going to need to adopt some new habits to fight stress and social awkwardness before your subconscious will let go of smoking.

By goal-setting from a place of compassion, forgiveness, acceptance and understanding, you’ll be armed with the right tools that you need to actually succeed and achieve what you desire.

If you’re still struggling with reframing then by all means get in touch with me and we can figure it out together, just drop me an email on simon@simonmaryan.com to arrange a time.

Simon

Hypnosis Has Many Benefits That Can Help You Lose Fat and Keep It Off


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Maintaining your optimal composition is very important for your overall health and well-being. Being overweight or obese can have detrimental effects on your physical health, mental health, and lifestyle. As important as losing fat is for your health, for some people it is one of the most difficult things to accomplish. The healthiest methods for losing excess fat involve natural methods such as diet and exercise. Research has shown that hypnosis is an effective tool to use in order to lose excess fat and continue to lose that fat and keep it off in the long-term.

Carrying extra pounds has a negative effect on your health and can to lead to life-threatening problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, stroke, and diabetes. Losing excess fat can also help improve joint health, reduce your risk of getting certain kinds of cancer, and improve your ability to sleep (Life Clinic).

Many studies have been conducted to study the effect that hypnotherapy has on a person’s ability to lose excess fat and their ability to keep it off in the long-term. In 1998, a study involved 60 obese participants. The patients were randomly divided into one of three groups. One group received hypnosis that focused on stress reduction; another group received hypnosis that focused on energy intake reduction, and the third group received only dietary advice.

Researchers studied the percent of body weight lost at 7 different follow-ups from 1-month to 18-months after the treatment. At the 3-month follow-up, all participants in the three groups had lost 2-3% of their baseline body weight. However, at the 18-month follow-up, the group that had received hypnotherapy and stress reduction reported continued significant fat loss compared to no change in the other two groups. This study shows that when hypnotherapy is used in combination with stress relief suggestions, fat loss is significant in the long-term (Stradling, Roberts, Wilson, & Lovelock, 1998).

In a meta-analysis of two studies involving hypnotherapy and fat loss, Kirsch (1996) found a significant difference in amount of pounds lost comparing participants who received hypnosis and those who did not receive hypnosis. The initial follow-up showed the average fat loss to be 6.00 pounds in the non-hypnosis group and 11.83 pounds in the hypnosis group. The last follow-up conducted with the studies showed that the non-hypnosis group lost an average of 6.03 pounds and the hypnosis group lost an average of 14.88 pounds. This meta-analysis showed that use of hypnotherapy greatly increased amount of fat lost over time.

These studies show that hypnotherapy is a valid form of fat loss treatment and has lasting effects in the long-term. Hypnosis takes only a few sessions and has a long-term effect that helps patients continue to lose excess fat through addressing the psychological issues related to the excess fat gain. This is an effective and natural method of losing fat and keeping it off.

Sources

“benefits of losing weight.” Life Clinic Health Management Systems. Retrieved on July 6, 2009:http://www.lifeclinic.com/focus/nutrition/losing-weight.asp

Kirsch, I. (1996). Hypnotic enhancement of cognitive-behavioral weight loss treatments: Another meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(3), 517-519.

Stradling, J., Roberts, D., Wilson, A., & Lovelock, F. (1998). Controlled trial of hypnotherapy for weight loss in patients with obstructive sleep apnoea. International Journal of Obesity and Related Metabolic Disorder, 22(3), 278-281.

For information on my Hypnosis & Nutrition Weight Management Program using my Brain2Body System, drop me an email on simon@simonmaryan.com

Brain2Body Lifestyle Nutrition & Exercise Manual – 2nd Edition coming soon!!


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I have been working on the 2nd edition of my Lifestyle Nutrition and Exercise Manual, with the main focus having been on updating the supplements section later on in the book. This now emphasises health supplementation as opposed to more sports based supplements in the 1st edition and this update is based heavily on my research into this form of supplementation.

Having health issues myself, I have wanted to find ways to enhance my bodies’ ability to recover, repair and regenerate and what I found really made me smile, and feel good. So, I am almost ready to get this new version published and I will keep you all posted when it is ready.

Thanks again to everyone who bought the 1st edition and I am confident that you will find this new edition enlightening as well.

Simon

Latest review of my new book


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I just received an email today with this independent review of my latest book, happy is an understatement. http://lnkd.in/dqJR7Wu

Check out the review and if it flicks your switch, why not get yourself the book, you never know it might just be the difference that makes the difference for you.

Whatever you do have fun.

 

Simon 🙂

General perception of weight loss/fat loss


I have been involved in physically training other people for around 25 years now, I started before there were any real governing bodies and I signed up to REPS, The Register of Exercise Professionals, from its inception and have been an Advanced Level 4 Trainer for the last 15 odd years. That combined with a BSc in Sports Psychology helped me enormously and over the last 10 years I have had much more success by starting the process with peoples minds and their perception of the many myths and legends disseminated by the fitness and diet industries.

It is almost as though many people are afraid of the word FAT, because it is all to common to talk about weight loss as opposed to fat loss. Weight in general terms is irrelevant, although their is a section of society where this is not the case because they are clinically obese and at huge risk of long term damage due to their excess weight. However, for the majority, they need to refocus their attention on how they look and how they feel about how they look.

When I work with clients, I begin with visualisation exercises to enable them to get a sense of how they want to look, how that feels and how long they realistically think it will take to reach. Most of my clients already have a pretty realistic idea of timescale and, once they get their heads around talking about fat loss, they find it much easier to create realistic and effective goals.

Now goal setting is hugely important and is one of  the key early elements in working with someones shift in mindset, because often people don’t really have a very clear idea at the beginning, it is a kind of vague and sometimes distant vision. By bringing that close and clear, it makes it much easier, along with the visualisation exercises to help that person set some simple and very effective targets to reach, while also building in flexibility to allow for a short plateau, unforeseen setbacks etc that happen in life.

Part of being that specific is consistently talking in terms of fat loss as opposed to weight and allowing clients to forget about the scales, educating them about body composition and how it will change and that leaner, toned muscle tissue will help them live a healthy and enjoyable life.

I run half-day goal setting workshops for the general public as well as trainers and I also run a 4 Day Sports Coaching Diploma that goes into great detail regarding the mindset of a client and how to change beliefs, perceptions and thinking patterns, which ultimately lead to a change in behaviour, for the better.

This is a big drive behind my latest brand of products, Brain2Body, because we are all driven by what goes on in our minds and when we learn how to us sit it, instead of it using us we can create a life that is far more enjoyable and satisfying than we ever thought possible.

I look forward to your thoughts and comments.