Mind-Body Matters Series Video #3: How To Set Effective Goals To Set you Up For Success


Welcome to the third instalment in the Mind-Body Matter Series.This one does what it says on the tin, it’s all about how to set goals so that you can be more effective in the process and be more successful at what you want to achieve.

I have just updated a free ebook all about how to create effective goals that set you up to succeed, all you have to do is click on the link and download your free copy.

It has exercises in it that help you out the theory into practice and if you get stuck just drop me a message and we can arrange a time to chat through it and get you moving again.

How To Set Effective Goals To Set You Up For Success

Once you’ve worked your way through the workbook and completed all the exercises, drop me a message and let me know how you got on and if I can help you in any way.

Have fun with it.

Simon

 

Life Design


For a long time I thought I was happy with my job, I was doing what I’d set to do in joining the Royal Marines. I worked with like-minded people, got paid to stay exceptionally fit, got fed four times a day and was provided with a roof over my head. The trade-off was that I was expected to do what I was told do whether I liked it or not and, some of the things I was asked to do I really didn’t like. However I was still happy living my dream.

Or so I thought.

Continue reading Life Design

It Takes Perseverance to Conquer Your Mountains



It’s been a personally tough time over the last eighteen months with a huge dip in business due to the impact of the state of the oil and gas industry in the north east of Scotland and the quite significant tsunami of destruction that it sent outwards. It’s been tough particularly recently with injuries, surgery and personal issues to sort out and with not being able to drive at the moment and with not sleeping well after having my shoulder repaired yet again, I have had plenty of time to think about what’s going on and look for ways to resolve the problems. I have looked back at how I resolved other problems in my life, what I did and what it took for me to resolve them. 

It’s actually something I enjoy doing, taking time in the early hours, a way to spend some time for myself and get refocused. This morning I found myself focusing on what it takes to be successful in any endeavour and I kept coming back to the word perseverance.

Being a Royal Marine took a huge amount of perseverance and there were times in training, the few times you get any time to yourself,which was usually sat on the toilet, where I thought to myself ‘what the fuck am I doing here, this is insane?!!’
 8 months of patience and staying focused and I finally completed Royal Marines Basic Training and I can not tell you how amazing that feels when it’s done and you are handed your Green Beret.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a military training course, a black belt or a weight loss/ body composition goal… at the very heart of it is perseverance.
Since then I’ve completed many courses, some extremely physically demanding, some mentally and some a mix of both. Since then I’ve set myself challenges in business and in my personal life and almost everything I set my heart on achieving I have achieved so far. There have been some heroic failures along the way and some goals I haven’t yet reached and no matter how frustrating that is I never lose sight of what I’m aiming for, well, not completely anyway. 

This is what got me thinking this morning, I realised I have lost my way a little recently, I’ve lost sight of what I’m aiming for in business and in my personal life. I’ve begun to doubt myself. Doubt whether I really want what I’d set myself, doubt my ability to even get anywhere near it. I felt myself feeling like giving up because it’s taking too much out of me. Needless to say this morning was a bit of an emotional roller coaster that left me reeling, spinning and not knowing the difference between my arse and my elbow. In all honesty I found it a bit disturbing.
I haven’t felt like this in a long time and I was in a similar situation then as well so in hindsight, it’s not surprising that I flipped back in time to that same emotional state.
I’ve had to dig deep into my reserves of perseverance many times in my life. I’ve lost my way before and at one point I was fat and out of shape, disillusioned, angry, probably depressed and a nightmare to live with.
So this afternoon as I have done before, I made the decision to change the track of my thoughts, and as it was before, it wasn’t easy. But I persevered and I still am.

 So what does it take. Some magical ability to simply head down a road with your blinkers on and just get shit done?

Not entirely, although at times this can help too.
 There is a system involved which ultimately allows you to persevere through anything. It’s a mindset that you must be willing to adopt.

The mindset is comprised of a few key elements. These include grit, determination, optimism and realism.
 The process runs like this:

You set your goal – It doesn’t matter what it is. Whether it’s passing a course or losing 60 lbs. 

You make your plan and begin to take the small steps toward it every single day, until you arrive there. What happens in the middle is called perseverance, it’s not reserved for the super-elite. We can all learn this life altering trait.

 

Grit, determination, optimism and realism are the foundation of perseverance.

 Let me talk you through them to see if you might have these traits hiding inside you too. (I’ll let you into a little secret…yes you do)

 The dictionary defines Grit as having courage, resolve and strength of character. Icon early think that grit is an awesome word and very apt.

Courage is simply having fear and pushing through it no matter what and harassing and channelising that energy to drive you towards your goal.
Resolve is the mental strength and strength of character is knowing that once you commit to something, you must do what you say you will do. Keeping the promise to yourself most importantly and then to others secondly.
 Determination is having a firmness of purpose. You make your decision to achieve your goal and you will not be swayed.

Optimism is having hopefulness and confidence about what it is that you are doing and that you will be successful. It doesn’t matter if you are in a body transformation phase or seeking a promotion at work. If you are optimistic about it, that energy is carried throughout your body and to those around you.
Realism is the attitude and practice of taking something as it is and moving forward accordingly. For example, you missed a workout…who cares, we all do. Get back on the train and continue moving forward.
 Now not all of you will be able to relate to this yet some of you will. Can you imagine for a second what it would take to persevere through an armed conflict or a lengthy battle with a determined enemy. Even the residual issues many soldiers and medics face upon arriving home having been exposed to multiple atrocities, suffering the mental anguish and pushing through it to continue to serve their fellow man.

 Our country was built on the backs of soldiers who could persevere, and having been one I know what it takes…and the fact is you can do it too… Every soldier would want you to learn that from them.

 So this week be thankful and learn to apply the elements that make up the recipe for perseverance, dish yourself up a large serving and use it to get you through whatever you set your mind to.

 Be bold, be strong, be brave, persevere and fight for what you want in this life.

Simon

The Language of Success


Now I realise that this may sound a little odd to some of you, but often, “trying harder” doesn’t always make things better or solve your problems. Sometimes you need to do something radically different to in order achieve your goals.When you find yourself stuck in one spot for too long you often need to break out of your comfort zone or pattern of behaviour in order to get to where you want to go.


This is the case with many things including work, relationships and also your physical fitness.

Whats really interesting (and encouraging) is that this does NOT always mean working harder.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you don’t need to work hard to achieve your goals, in fact, if the goal/s set yourself are enough of a stretch then you will have to work hard for sure, you will also have to work smart too. I love the quote from Gary Player, the golfer renowned for being able to get himself out of trouble with consummate ease, when he overheard a guy in the crowd say, “he is so lucky” and Gary Player replied, “It’s funny, the more I practice the luckier I get.”

It’s just that sometimes working harder is not the right answer to being successful, sometimes we just need to work smarter.

Not everything can be fixed with a hammer, no matter how hard you swing, sometimes you need a different tool.

Over the past two decades I have worked with thousands of people both online and in person and along the way I have discovered little words/phrases that can pretty much predict a persons success or failure.

In fact, whenever I hear these words I can pretty much guarantee that the person saying them will not be successful.

These words are:

  • I’ll try to get the work done.
  • I’ll try to make healthy food choices.
  • I’ll try to start exercise or exercise more often.
  • I’ll try to get to bed earlier.
  • I hope so.
  • I hope I can do it.
  • I hope I can achieve that.
  • I hope I’ll make it.

Words and phrases like this tend to lead us to presuppose that we will fail and that we don’t really believe that we can achieve, so when we don’t we aren’t too disappointed. In essence we set ourselves up for failure.

If these are your answer to ANYTHING that you know you must do in order to achieve your goal, then I suggest you revisit just how important your goal is to you and listen to the kinds of words and phrases you use and write when talking about your goals.

Small changes in how you think, speak and write can make a huge difference to your ability to succeed.

I want you to succeed and I know that you can when you set your mind on the track from the beginning.

Here’s to your success.

There’s More to Maintaining Your Ideal Body than Just Input and Output


For some reason, even with all the science and information available out there, diet and exercise are still the main focus of attention when it comes to fat loss. The thing is as important a part as they do play in the process, it’s just not as simple as “burn more calories than you consume.” I still meet people on a regular basis who live by this misguided rule, now I’m not saying it doesn’t work, however, it generally only works in the short to medium term, not indefinitely. It’s an outdated model because there’s so much more to fat loss than just diet and exercise.

During my research and development for my book I discovered a number of things that, when factored into your fat loss and maintenance programme, make a huge difference in your ability to achieve and hold onto your desired outcome. So here I want to share with you four key elements that I drill into all my clients from day one to ensure that they continue to make progress.

Sleeping Baby

1. Quality Deep Restorative sleep. Sleep Like a Baby.
Now I know some of you may be thinking, what is he on about, sleep is sleep. Well there is a big difference and there is a common misunderstanding about sleep, and that is how much do we need and also that it should be constant sleep throughout the night. When we sleep we go through different depths during a 90 minute cycle called the ‘Ultradian Rhythm’. What this means is that we drift off into a light sleep, drop down into REM or Dream Sleep and then into Deep Restorative Sleep and this is where your brain and body recharge, repair and restore themselves. Without this quality deep restorative sleep we can wake up more tired than when we went to bed because we have been dreaming too much and never getting into that deep sleep. When we remain in that light sleep and REM sleep states we can be interrupted by our dreams and by outside noises that bring us up into conscious awareness and break that natural sleep pattern. I want you to understand that this is a normal part of the cycle and it is why we don’t have 7-8 hours of completely uninterrupted sleep, we wake up and go back to sleep a few times throughout the night. What is really important is that we go into the Deep Restorative Sleep state and recharge, repair and restore. This is why sleep is one of the first things I discuss with a new client, because it really is that important.

If you’re really serious about optimising your health and/or losing fat, then you really need to pay more attention to your sleep patterns and habits and make changes here first before doing anything else in order to get maximum benefit from your training and nutrition.

If my client’s fat loss stalls and/or they’re losing momentum and energy, I don’t start analysing their nutrition plan or increasing their exercise frequency or intensity. I look at their sleep quality and quantity, and their chronic stress level to see where we can make some changes.

As a society we are chronically sleep-deprived and over-stressed. Individually these elements can cause severe health problems and hinder fat loss. When you combine them they are disastrous for your overall health and your fat loss goals

Have you noticed that when you are exhausted you feel hungrier than usual? This is not your imagination. Not getting enough sleep affects leptin and ghrelin, which are  your hunger hormones.

A consistent lack of sleep will make you hungrier and much more impulsive, and you will have an almost insatiable craving for high-carbohydrate foods. This makes avoiding the muffins and cakes at the coffee shop or turning down the bacon rolls at the office a nearly impossible feat. Being chronically sleep-deprived also significantly elevates your cortisol levels  and insulin resistance and this affects your fat loss and your overall physical and mental health.

If this doesn’t make you want to go to bed a bit earlier, another reason is that adequate sleep is also crucial for cognitive function, maintaining a positive outlook, and having a steady supply of energy so that you can keep up with your kids, run around with your dog, lift heavier weights, run faster/longer and all the other active things you love to do.

Reflective Questions:
• Am I getting quality deep restorative sleep each night within an average of 7 hours sleep?
• If not, what am I prepared to change to ensure I get that quality sleep? (For example: Stop watching TV in bed. No phones, kindles, iPads etc in the bedroom at night to avoid the temptation to stay up interacting with social media)

Train Smart

2. Don’t Train Harder, Train Smarter. That Includes Variety.
When I was serving in the Royal Marines, particularly during basic training, I couldn’t eat enough because the amount of physical exercise was phenomenal. It was almost impossible to consume enough calories in a day to match my output. The same thing happened when I was racing in Triathlons, the problem was that it increased my appetite so much that all wanted I to do was eat and sometimes I simply didn’t have the time.

I finally understood a few years ago that high-intensity, steady-state exercise is not the best model for me, it turns me into a black hole for food. It was potentially far too easy for me to “out-eat” my training, which meant I was breaking even at best and running myself into the ground.

I recommend to my clients applying the Minimum Effective Dose Model to their training. Meaning, I totally understand that you love exercise and it’s important that you do just enough to elicit the desired results while keeping your hormones happy and your appetite in check.

For most people (who train regularly), this typically means two or three heavy strength-training days, one or two short-duration HIIT (high-intensity interval training) sessions, and no more than a couple of moderate-intensity, steady-state cardio sessions per week.
Getting too aggressive with exercise and doing an obscene amount of cardio, spending hours in the weight room each day, or doing two-a-day training sessions can lead to a voracious appetite, run down your immune system and lead to overtraining, which I’m guessing is probably not in line with your goals.

Reflective Questions:

  •  Is any type of exercise that I’m doing increasing my appetite to the point that it may be sabotaging, instead of supporting, my goals?
  •  What kind of exercise can I do instead to see how that makes me feel? (Example: Instead of running for 45 minutes, how about trying 15 minutes of intervals? Instead of that 60-minute Spin class, how about breaking it up into two 30-minute moderate-intensity cardio sessions throughout the week?)

Healthy eating

3. Eat Food That You Enjoy, Is Nutritious and Fills you Up.
When you think of fat loss, do you think it means eating the same boring foods, every day? Chicken breast, sweet potato, broccoli, egg whites, oats, and protein powder, day in and day out?

This absolutely can work because there’s nothing nutritionally wrong with it, in fact it’s full of great nutrients. What I can promise you is this. It won’t work for long, unless you actually love to eat like this and truly feel satisfied. Generally we can only tolerate so much bland, boring food that we don’t necessarily enjoy before we frantically wave the white flag and dive into a pile of junk food, never to return to it again…until the next time we want to lose fat!!

The key to making  your nutrition a sustainable part of your lifestyle is to ensure that you love what you’re eating. You have to enjoy your food in order to be satisfied and for me food is meant to be enjoyed. If you force down a meal that you hate because someone told you or you read somewhere that this is the way to lose fat, there is a high probability that you’ll be raiding your cupboards and fridge afterward for something to satisfy your palate.

Emjoy your meal

Fortunately on the Internet, there are millions of recipes right at your fingertips. While it may take you 20 minutes to bake a week’s worth of bland chicken breasts, it would only take you an additional few minutes to whip up a tasty sauce for them, try a new seasoning blend, or another way of cooking them. You can bake, broil, roast, slow cook, grill, steam, or sauté your food into an explosion of flavour with just a tiny bit more thought and effort. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Reflective Questions:

  • Am I currently eating foods I can’t stand but eat them anyway because I feel like I’m “supposed” to?
  • What can I do to those foods, or what can I substitute, to make eating an enjoyable experience again?
  • Can I spare an extra 20 minutes per day to improve the taste of my food? ( The answer is yes by the way.)

4. Choose the Right Form of and Amount of Cardio.
Cardio is a funny thing. For a while, it’s all many people wanted to do. Thankfully, times have changed and in particular, women have embraced the empowering feeling and advantages of strength training. The only downside to that is that cardio has started to get kicked to the curb to a degree. Cardio, like most forms of exercise, can be a wonderful tool when used correctly.
Is cardio necessary for everyone who wants to get leaner? Not really. But if you find that you’re a bit stuck, incorporating a couple of sessions per week could help.

Moderate-intensity, steady-state cardio is a way to burn calories, sure. More importantly, it improves work capacity, which can mean improved training. It can also aid in recovery from your strength workouts.

This is not a pass for a cardio free-for-all. Whatever form of cardio you choose, please make sure you’re doing the type that keeps stress low and your hunger under control.

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Reflective Questions:

  • What kind of cardio do I enjoy most? Walking, biking, cycling, swimming, rowing, running?
    Can I spare 20 minutes 2-3 times a week to incorporate some moderate-intensity cardio?
  • Am I prepared to do fasted cardio (train before eating to boost your fat burning capabilities) in the morning?
  • How did that cardio make me feel? Do I feel in control of my appetite? Do I feel energised? If the answer to those questions is yes, stick with it for a few weeks and see what changes you notice.

As you can see, when it comes to fat loss, there is more to the equation than simply restricting food intake and doing more exercise. If you find yourself stuck and not making any progress, take a look at these four things and see if making a few changes can help push you forwards and out of your rut.

As always, making changes in  your body begins with making changes in your brain in terms of how you think about and perceive all the different elements required to achieve your aim. Without starting with your brain and mind, you are almost certainly going to fail backwards at some point and have to start again and fall foul of the Yo-Yo process that millions of us get trapped in year after year.

One last but important note: Once you make a change, stick with it for at least four weeks, and then evaluate your progress before making any more changes.

For more advice and to find out about my Lifestyle Coaching Program that works your from the top down so that you make the changes in your brain/mind first setting you on the right path, with the right mindset right from the beginning, you can email me directly  at simon@simonmaryan.com

Have a fantastic weekend

Simon

Hypnosis and Bedwetting


Key Causes

Study 1: Hypnosis and Self-Hypnosis for Bedwetting (Enuresis) – Children Aged 5 to 16
Hypnosis and self-hypnosis in the management of nocturnal enuresis: a comparative study with imipramine therapy.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8259762

Results: Of the patients treated with imipramine (a prescription antidepressant medication), 76% had a positive response (all dry beds); for patients treated with hypnotic strategies, 72% responded positively. At the 9-month follow-up, 68% of patients in the hypnosis group maintained a positive response, whereas only 24% of the imipramine group did.

Notes: Enuretic (bedwetting) children, ranging in age from 5 to 16 years, underwent 3 months of therapy with imipramine (N = 25) or hypnosis (N = 25). After termination of the active treatment, the hypnosis group continued practicing self-hypnosis daily during the follow-up period of another 6 months.

Am J Clin Hypn. 1993 Oct;36(2):113-9
By: S. Banerjee, A. Srivastav, B. M. Palan, Pramukhswami Medical College, India

Study 2: Hypnosis and Bedwetting – Boys Aged 8 to 13
Hypnotherapy as a Treatment for Enuresis.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1469-7610.1985.tb01635.x/abstract

Results: Results indicated that hypnotherapy was significantly effective over 6 months in decreasing nocturnal enuresis, compared with both pretreatment baseline enuresis frequency and no-treatment controls.

Notes: The main objective of this study was to provide an adequately controlled experimental and clinical study to assess the efficacy of hypnotherapy in the treatment of nocturnal enuresis. Subjects were 48 nocturnal enuretic boys, aged 8-13 yr. Treatment consisted of six standardized sessions, one hourly session per subject per week.

Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, Volume 26, Issue 1, pages 161-170, January 1985
By: S. D. Edwards, Department of Psychology, University of Zululand, South Africa
H. I. J. Vander Spuvy, Department of Psychiatry, McMaster University, Ontario, Canada

Study 3: Hypnotherapy and Refractory Nocturnal Enuresis – Boys Aged 8 to 16
Hypnotherapy in the treatment of refractory nocturnal enuresis.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14983195

Results: At follow-up after three months and one year, nine out of 12 patients had respectively 6-7/7, and 7/7 dry nights per week. Three patients had nocturnal enuresis at follow-up; two of them were referred to a pediatric surgeon for their overactive urine bladder and one was referred to his local psychiatric clinic because of ongoing family conflicts.

Notes: Twelve boys, median age 12 years (range 8-16), eight with primary nocturnal enuresis and four with primary nocturnal and diurnal enuresis, reported at referral a median of 0 (range 0-3) dry nights per week They underwent hypnotherapy with a median of six sessions (range 2-8), followed by median one month with self-hypnosis exercises. Hypnotherapy had lasting effects for boys with chronic and complex forms of nocturnal enuresis.

Tidsskr Nor Laegeforen. 2004 Feb 19;124(4):488-91. (Article in Norwegian)
By: T. H. Diseth, I. H. Vandvik, Barne-og ungdomspsykiatrisk seksjon, Barneavdelingen, Rikshospitalet, Oslo

Life Design Enables Mastering of Self-renewal and Generativity


10 skills  required to change yourself …

Managing the change cycle is a self-renewing process. It empowers people to be self-confident and generative. Generativity is defined as a process whereby we learn to follow our deeper interests and longings and bring about change. It helps us to avoid the dangers of self-absorption and stagnation because we learn to live in new ways that expand our horizons. The following are 10 skills for managing the change cycle. Each skill has a time in the cycle when it performs a critical function, however, all 10 skills are important at all times because to some degree parts of our lives are simultaneously at various places in the cycle.

Visioning or Dreaming the Plan – The dream or vision is the driving force for the life structure, a source of passion and values. The plan is the plot for making the dream happen.

Launching – Launching puts the plan to action; it requires commitment and personal mission.

Plateauing – Plateauing is the art of sustaining a successful life structure…. It is knowing when and how to keep enriching the dream/plan for as long as it makes sense to do so.

Managing the Doldrums – This requires coming to terms with decline, negative emotions, and feeling trapped in an increasingly dysfunctional life structure.

Sorting Things Out – Choosing what to keep, what to eliminate or change, what to add, and how to proceed into a revitalised life structure is the task of this step of the change cycle.

Ending a Life Structure – This requires an ability to say farewell with gratitude and clarity, which frees you to consider your next options.

Restructuring – This mini-transition can be used if the life structure could be improved through some specific changes.

Cocooning – The transition into a new life structure requires turning inward to take stock, to identify your own basic values, and to disengage emotionally and mentally from the former life structure.

Self-Renewal – Following successful cocooning, this step involves a rebirth of self-esteem, a re-evaluation of core issues and beliefs, and the recovery of hope and purpose.

Experimenting – Creativity, learning, risk taking, and networking give one a sense of purpose and power in creating a new life structure.

SELF-RENEWAL FOR COACHING AND SELF-COACHING

Finding meaning in our work is critical if we are to avoid stagnation and boredom (Bergquist et al. 1993). It is the responsibility of each individual to effect the change necessary to reinvent work so that it has personal relevance. Many companies are now requiring that employees take responsibility for their own professional development.

Some critical strategies required when being coached:

  • Honest assessment of self and skills
  • Genuine motivation and drive to establish and pursue a goal
  • Understanding and knowledge of the strategic challenges of their position and business
  • Commitment to establishing an action plan that is built upon realistic expectations and that draws upon available resources, both within and outside the company
  • Being able to accomplish successful career/professional development transitions within an existing organisation/life structure
  • Creating a new organisation/life structure requires personal motivation.
  • Successful transition is linked with one’s sense of autonomy or internal locus of control, and manifested in a willingness to learn and a positive attitude. It is the force that propels individuals to take the initiative in directing their own lives and careers.

Many people find value in their work as a source of new learning and challenge. “They return to school, enter training programs, or enroll in workshops and seminars to keep up to date in their current jobs or strike out on their own” (Bergquist). Others, hampered by lack of drive, fear of failure, or reluctance to exit company retirement plans by terminating employment, stay in unsatisfying and/or stressful jobs. Bergquist et al. ask if the sacrifice is necessary or worthwhile. “When does the time come for us to cease deferring gratification for the future and begin actually living the fabled future?”. Whatever their age, adults must find meaning and community in their work if they want to be generative and alive. Therefore, they must look toward continued opportunities to reinvent work as a central part of reinventing themselves.

“Life Design” takes all these factors into account both personally and professionally and helps you make the right choices for your future.

Beginning Today


Beginning Today

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.

Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value the gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self- improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before. I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.

Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy… admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favourite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath… Pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savour all the various flavours life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be. Beginning Today, ……………..and Every day.

Build Your Self Discipline and Increase your Success


2013-08-16 17.35.50

I regularly work with clients who say things to me like, “I can’t do that” or “I’ll never have/be/do that”, etc, etc. Now there are a load of things going on with these small statements that have to be addressed in order for these people to make a break through, things such as limiting beliefs, perception, mindset, attitude and a certain lack of motivation due to all of these things. This can have a hugely negative effect on a persons self discipline and motivation to actually succeed and to work towards success.

Personal success, achievement, or goal, can’t be realised without self-discipline. It is possibly the most important attribute needed to achieve any type of personal excellence, athletic excellence, virtuosity in the arts, or any form of outstanding performance, because without it, there is no consistency and continuity of effort towards achieving that goal.

What is Self-Discipline?

It is the ability to control emotions, thoughts, impulses, desires and behaviours. It is being able to say No, to immediate pleasure and instant gratification in favour of gaining the long-term satisfaction and fulfillment from achieving higher and more meaningful goals.

To possess self-discipline is to be able to make the decisions, take the actions, and execute your game plan regardless of the obstacles, discomfort, or difficulties, which may come your way.

Being disciplined does not mean living a limiting or a restrictive lifestyle, nor does it mean giving up everything you enjoy, or, to relinquish fun and relaxation. However, it does mean learning how to focus your mind and energies on your goals and persevere until they are accomplished.

It does means cultivating a mindset lead by your deliberate choices rather than by your negative emotions, bad habits, or the sway of others who do not have your necessarily have the same desires as you. Self-discipline allows you to reach your goals in a reasonable time frame and to live a more orderly and satisfying life.

How To Develop Self-Discipline
it’s best to start with small steps, because no new process takes place overnight. Just as it takes time to build muscle, so does it take time to develop self-discipline? The more you train and build it, the stronger you become. In exercise, if you try to do too much at once, you risk injuring yourself and setting yourself back. Likewise, take it one step at a time in building self-discipline, begin by making the decision to go forward and learning what it takes to get there.

Learn what motivates you and what your negative triggers are and this begins by learning about yourself! Sometimes it is very difficult to fight off urges and cravings, so identify the areas where your resistance is low and how to avoid those situations. If you know you can’t resist cake, fries, or other temptations – stay away from them, do not have them around to lure you into moments of weakness. If you also know that putting pressure on yourself does not work for you, then set yourself up in an environment that encourages the building of self-discipline rather than one that sabotages it. Remove the temptations and surround yourself with soothing and encouraging items such as motivating slogans and pictures of what you want to achieve.

Learn also what energises and motivates you. Your willpower can go up and down with your energy levels so play energetic music to perk you up, move around, and laugh. Train yourself to enjoy what you are doing by being energised as this will make it easier to implement desirable and appropriate behaviours into your daily routine – which is really what self-discipline is all about.

Make the right behaviours a routine. Once you have decided what’s important to you and which goals to strive for, establish a daily routine that will help you achieve them. For example, if you want to eat healthily or lose weight; resolve to eat several servings of lean protein and green vegetables each day and exercise for at least half an hour.

Make it part of your daily routine and part of your self-discipline building. Likewise, get rid of some of your bad, self-defeating habits, whatever they may be. They can put you in a negative frame of mind and hinder your self-discipline. A poor attitude is also a self destructive bad habit.

Practice Self-Denial

Learn to say no to some of your feelings, impulses and urges. Train yourself to do what you know to be right, even if you don’t feel like doing it. Skip dessert some evenings. Limit your TV watching. Resist the urge to yell at someone who has irritated you. Stop and think before you act. Think about the consequences. When you practice self-restraint it helps you develop the habit of keeping other things under control.

Engage in Sports or Other Physical Activities

Sports are an excellent way to enhance self- discipline. They train you to set goals, they focus your mental energy and exercises you emotional energies, enables you to become physically fit, and teaches you to get along well with others by working as part of a team. Participating in sports provides a situation where you learn to work hard and strive to do your best, which in turn, teaches you to integrate the same the thought processes and disciplines into your everyday life.

Learning to play a musical instrument can be another great way to practice self-discipline. The focus, repetition, and application required in learning to play an instrument is invaluable. Achieving self-discipline in any one area of your life re-programs your mind to choose what is right, rather than what is easy.

Create Your Mindset for Self-Discipline

Get inspiration from those you admire. There are so many inspirational people i the world today and from throughout history. read books by or about these people and draw inspiration from them. Sporting greats such as Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, Gary player. Great leaders throughout history; Alexander the Great, Winston Churchill. Philosophers such as Aristotle who said:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit”.

Visualise the Rewards

There is nothing more gratifying than accomplishing your goals. Practice the technique that high achievers and top athletes do and practice projecting yourself in to the future with your imagination. Visualise your desired outcome. See how your life can be different, hear how differently you talk about your self and how others do, feel how rewarding it is and the countless benefits you will enjoy. Remind yourself what it takes to get there.

The Benefits
It helps build self-confidence.
You accomplish more, and are therefore more productive.
You are able to maintain a higher tolerance for frustration, obstacles and negative emotions.
Allows you to obtain better health, better finances and a good work ethic.
You are able to reach your most difficult goals more efficiently.
The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets.
If we are to be masters of our own destiny, we must develop self-discipline and self-control. By focusing on long-term benefits instead of short-term discomfort, we can encourage ourselves to develop of self-discipline. Ultimately our health and happiness depend on it.

If you would like to join my online goal setting workshop group then drop me an email on simon@simonmaryan.com and take advantage of a free 20 minute strategy session with me and find out how you can build your self discipline and achieve your goals.

Here’s to your increased success, health and happiness

Simon

Defusing The Power of Limiting Beliefs


How often are you full of good intentions and then never follow through on them?

Maybe you tell yourself it’s about time you made a few changes in your life, but feel you aren’t able to take action.

You may even be passionate about life, but run into countless roadblocks along the way.

When you get to the root cause of your failure, more often than not it is your own limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that are keeping you from your success. In most cases, you are a thought or two away from achieving success. So a single positive change can make all the difference in your life.

As you discover how to disengage yourself both emotionally and mentally from negative thoughts, you’ll watch your potential rise.

Even though it may sound a little strange, you may be surprised how much of an effect your limiting beliefs are having on you, and when you remove their power, you have a chance to dramatically improve your life. I am certain that when you break free from those limiting beliefs you’ll experience 90% of your goals and dreams being reached.

However, don’t anticipate a miraculous overnight transition in how you think and eel. You’ve been feeding negative thoughts and behavioural patterns for years and self-doubt has a hold on you. These years of negativity have an impact on your way of thinking and have impacted your confidence. You will find that when you stick with it, you can begin to experience an extraordinary change in your life.

Those old thought patterns aren’t your fault either. As a child, many of your views of the world stem from the experiences you’ve had and the influences from your parents, family, friends and teachers etc. This includes the belief and expectations for happiness, along with living a passionate life.

Even when you come from a stable, loving family, you can still face these struggles. The limiting beliefs may stem from interactions you’ve had with peers, social pressure or other events that have occurred in your life. As you move forward and you struggle, you begin to experience negative feelings about yourself and soon, you allow those dark thoughts to begin taking control over your life. In some cases, limiting you from ever reaching your full potential as you become self sabotaging because you don’t feel you deserve to achieve your goals. This is quite a common occurrence believe it or not.

As more time passes, these beliefs are further engrained in our minds. They become real to us and they begin to guide our fears. As we become adults, there are additional stresses, disappointments and responsibilities that begin to reaffirm the fears we have. This leads us to justify these limiting beliefs.

I want you to do a quick exercise. Imagine your life where none of the stuff that lead to these engrained limiting beliefs took place. You have a clean slate and all the possibilities of the world are open to you with absolutely no road blocks in your life and you believe can try and achieve anything.

To help you relate to this, think of a time when things went your way, or felt like they were. Even if you weren’t the smartest or most popular, you still were there and life is good, where would you stand? That is important to take into consideration for this.

Another important factor that you must not overlook, is your parents do not control your destiny, you do. Critical parents are often the dream crushers of the world. As an adult, they have no control over what you accomplish. Former teachers and peers who told you that a dream was impossible, they have no power over you either unless you allow it. The only person with any power over your life, unless you are willing to give it to someone else, is you.

Your abilities and skills are yours, so own them. When you accept that and own that, you can begin to transform your life and push yourself harder to reach your goals.

The limiting beliefs in your life aren’t something that can dominate you any longer. Before you know it, you have the enthusiasm and energy to take back control over your life. When you do:

  • You can do all the things your heart dreams of.
  • You can make things happen.
  • You’ll discover that passion for life you once had.
  • You can work past fear and take back your life.

Stop allowing your limiting beliefs to define who you are. Take back your life and realise that living in the past actually negatively impacts your life, and prevents you from finding your true happiness.

To get a better understanding of your own limiting beliefs, it can help to begin asking yourself some probing questions. These questions will give you some insight into why you are thinking the way you do.

15 Questions To Break You Free From Your Own Limiting Beliefs

1. What is your most debilitating limiting belief?
We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back. When you know which one is perhaps the strongest, you can begin to remove it from your life. Do you not feel like you’re good enough? Do you believe you aren’t making enough money? Are you under the impression you are unattractive or not smart? enough

2. Why is this limiting belief there, where did it come from?
This is a question you need to keep asking yourself until you answer it. Begin to write down all the reasons in your mind, regardless of how minor they are. Then keep this list.

3. Is there any evidence which proves this limiting belief wrong?
This is hugely important. There are things in your life, which will prove the limiting belief isn’t true. As you progress through these items, you’ll begin to realise most of the mental road blocks you have created are completely wrong and unfounded.

4. What ways are you not truly alive and engaged in your own life?
If the limiting belief you have prevents you from having a fulfilling and joyful life, make note of it. Create a list of all the areas where this is holding you back and what you can do to change it.

5. How does it make you feel to know you’ve missed out on these areas in your life?
Your feelings are important to recognise embrace. You know you’re missing out and these limiting beliefs are preventing you from truly experiencing your life. Explore these feelings and look at how you can take back control of your life.

6. If these beliefs were no longer there, how would you change your life?
Close your eyes and imagine that these limiting beliefs nom longer existed in your life. How would this change your life for the better? What new goals would you set for yourself? How would you be able to change your life?

7. Do your limiting beliefs have any merit?
Is there actually a case where this belief has any validity to it? What supporting evidence do you have? Write them down.

8. If you answered yes and have evidence, what can you do about it?
Often, there are solutions to the problems and perceptions. If education is legitimately holding you back, go to school. If you need money, raise some money. But find out what is limiting you and find a solution.

9. What is your greatest fear in terms of the outcome of your limiting belief?
Are you concerned with rejection, someone not liking you or simply being humiliated? What is the worst thing that could happen if something goes wrong? Now, what is the best thing that could happen if it goes right?

10. In reality, what is the likelihood of this happening?
Living in a realm of fear, we often believe we are facing something that is the only possibility. When in reality, the chances of the nightmare actually happening are slim to none. So how likely is it that the worst possible scenario will happen?

11. How comfortable would you be with taking chances, despite the uncertainty?
Let’s be realistic, everything you do in life has a risk. There are so many different potential outcomes for every decision you can face and you need to decide if you take the easy route and always succeed and never find happiness. Or, if you take a chance and put things on the line in the hope of making your dreams come true. It’s all about assessing what your options are and are you prepared to take a calculated risk in order to achieve what you want. If you’re not then you probably don’t want your goal as much as you thought. If that’s the case you need to rethink your goal.

12. How are your limiting beliefs impacting past and current relationships?
You need to understand that your beliefs impact your relationships. You need to take a close look at your life and take a look at how your beliefs currently affect your relationships and what can you do to change those beliefs if they are having a negative effect. Equally how can you strengthen beliefs that have a positive effect?

13. Do you think you’d be comfortable taking your list of limiting beliefs and sealing them in an envelope?
When you’ve done this, you put them on hold and pretend they are not real. As you begin to work away from those old limiting beliefs, you can imagine living your life as if you’ve never had them and that your life has been and will continue to be full of opportunities and achievement.

14. What is the most pressing or compelling goal you have that you wished you could accomplish?
This is an important question to ask yourself. What is the one thing that your limiting belief/s has kept you away from? If you were to remove the belief, could you achieve that goal? Is it something you’d truly like to work towards?

15. List 3 – 5 manageable goals you can do this week that move you closer to your ultimate goal, while the limiting beliefs are sealed away in the envelope.
For the exercise to work, you need to commit fully to the experience. You need to take action to move away from those old limiting beliefs and to work towards your goals. As you better isolate those old limiting beliefs and take back control of your life you’ll find you enjoy life so much more.

As you continue to follow through with this plan, you’ll find you are able to achieve a great deal more success. In today’s modern world, you have an endless array of possibilities available to you, as long as you let go of your old limiting beliefs.

Routinely go through the steps above and do what you can to continue to progress forward. Within a few weeks of following these steps you’ll discover that you do have the power inside of yourself to make the changes necessary in your life. Then you can begin to work towards making all of your dreams a reality.

If you would like to really drive this home and reset your beliefs so that they work for you as opposed to against you, drop me an email and we can discuss how to do this with a Transformational Belief Change Coaching Session via Skype. Along with this session you will receive the following free gifts:

  • Complimentary ebook pack selected specifically for you that will help keep you moving forwards towards your goals
  • Life Design Manual in PDF
  • Free Hypnosis Audio Download

To discuss in more detail and to book your session email me on: simon@simonmaryan.com

To your continued happiness and success

Simon