Mind-Body Matters Series Video #3: How To Set Effective Goals To Set you Up For Success


Welcome to the third instalment in the Mind-Body Matter Series.This one does what it says on the tin, it’s all about how to set goals so that you can be more effective in the process and be more successful at what you want to achieve.

I have just updated a free ebook all about how to create effective goals that set you up to succeed, all you have to do is click on the link and download your free copy.

It has exercises in it that help you out the theory into practice and if you get stuck just drop me a message and we can arrange a time to chat through it and get you moving again.

How To Set Effective Goals To Set You Up For Success

Once you’ve worked your way through the workbook and completed all the exercises, drop me a message and let me know how you got on and if I can help you in any way.

Have fun with it.

Simon

 

Life Design


For a long time I thought I was happy with my job, I was doing what I’d set to do in joining the Royal Marines. I worked with like-minded people, got paid to stay exceptionally fit, got fed four times a day and was provided with a roof over my head. The trade-off was that I was expected to do what I was told do whether I liked it or not and, some of the things I was asked to do I really didn’t like. However I was still happy living my dream.

Or so I thought.

Continue reading Life Design

Creating the Mindset for Success


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Do you want a happier and more successful life?

Two people can see the same situation and come to completely different opinions about it. In fact, most people do. Our opinions affect our lives more often than most other things. Some people see their family and enjoy the good feelings and happy times they can spend with them, and so they focus on developing these positive relationships and find themselves not only having a good time, but getting far closer than ever before in the process. On the flip side, the same situation may bring about feelings of fear, animosity, and anxiety in another person. So why is this? The answer is simple. One person has a positive outlook on their life, seeing each change as an opportunity and the other sees it as a trial that must be fought against. What if there was a way to change that person’s opinion?

There is no contest as to which is more productive in creating a better life. People throughout history with positive constructive outlooks on life and the ability to work through challenges have found themselves in the history books celebrated for their apparent deep inner wisdom. People who victimised themselves and others, and were driven mad by their environments have also been recorded by history, but generally in a far different way.

But what is the secret to uncovering this deep inner beauty that radiates outward? You’ll find the answer to be surprisingly simple. Since 90% of happiness comes from within and can be generated without external forces, it seems the true cause of people being unhappy isn’t generated in the world around them, but rather in their own minds. And as we interact with others the very act of making others happy within your own mind can give you exactly what you need to start bettering the lives of those around you. And how do you generate it in your mind? Through repetitive, conscious action to begin with, changing your thoughts from negative to positive when you catch yourself going off track, and I guarantee you will to begin with because the old way of thinking is so engrained, it’s a habit and nothing more. The beauty of it is we can learn new habits to replace the old, outdated ones.

Cynicism in our lives can help us sometimes. It helps us spot problems we would otherwise miss. However, those of us with a spiritual connection (this does not mean mean religious, just in case your thinking that) with their brains know how to use the caution our brain affords us without having to pay for it when we can be feeling good about ourselves. Cynicism is not designed to make us dislike how our own lives are going, it is there as a defence mechanism. Cynical people suffer when the behaviour moves from their working memory to the amygdala where habitual and emotional behaviour is stored. A person with a healthy level of caution will not engage in a behaviour that may lower the quality of their life while an overly cynical person may avoid most situations, assuming they will cause them harm “somehow.” Cynicism in this case causes a great deal of stress and suffering to those who engage in it habitually.

There is good news though. Just as our brains can be rewired by stressful events (events we may not even remember consciously) it can be changed so that a new system within the brain is given priority. In this case we lose all the negative aspects of cynicism and none of the positive ones.

Do you feel that you are one of those people who suffer from constant bad luck? Do you naturally distrust people even if they show no reason to distrust them? Do you look for the faults in others as well as yourself, focusing on them instead of the good? If you said yes to any of these, then you’re exactly who this system is written for.

Stop feeling the pain of shutting everyone out of your life. You can change it all and start enjoying the world just as you always knew you could. Interestingly, many who use my “Power of Positivity” Audio Training Program describe it as changing the way they see the world around them. There is one key point here and that is that the world is not changing, just the way they perceive it. So, change your mind and live the life you deserve. All of us deserve to live happy.

Points to Consider:

1.  Those with a better outlook on life improve the lives of everyone around them.
2.  Cynicism is a learned behavior. Optimism is the same way.
3.  Misery loves company. Don’t look to cynics for happiness. Look within yourself.

Keys To Successful Fatloss Part 2: Self Perception


New Workshop: “Life Design”


I have been listening to a lot of people over the last couple of months who are fed up with their current jobs and where they currently are on their lives, they’re not as happy and content as they expected to be.

So, I have created a brand new 1 day course called ‘Life Design’, which is all about helping you discover what is really important to you, what you really want to be doing with your life both personally and professionally. During this day you will work out your personal and professional values and the beliefs that support them, set goals that enable you to fulfil them and take you to exactly where you want to be, instead of it being just a distant wish.

The venue is being secured at the moment and the cost for this workshop is £125 per person which includes lunch all refreshments and course notes.

So, to start designing the life you want, all you have to do to book your place and to ask any questions email me on simon@simonmaryan.com

How To Lift the Seasonal Blues


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I deal with a fairly high number of clients with depression and the symptoms that lead up to it and maintain it such as; stress, anxiety, insomnia, negative thinking and ruminating.

All these symptoms are part and parcel of daily life in lesser forms as we all experience them to some degree or other, yet when they are combined they become like a powerful magnetic force pulling you into depression.

It seems that this time of year is historically a time where a proportion of people feel depressed and there are a number of theories about this and this is a screen shot of a Google search for information on January Blues (and yes I know it’s into February already :-))

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It’s incredible that this very quickly pulls up 245,000,000 results which leaves you wondering how this can actually come about and what makes people so depressed so early in a new year.

There are many reasons, some are personal to the individual and could be based around bereavement and a fairly common occurrence around christmas is the break up of a relationship, which can obviously lead to a period of grief, loss and a degree of depression.

Below are some of the most common reasons for feeling low in January/Feb and some suggestions as to how to kickstart your positivity and motivation to turn things round for yourself.

The festive season is over and it’s back to work – no wonder January can feel like the gloomiest month of the year.

Add to that crappy weather, Christmas debts and a few failed resolutions, and it’s no surprise that some of us can fell miserable and low.

The good news is it takes less effort than you think to look at things differently and lift your mood.

Here are the top six reasons you might be feeling the January blues – and what you can do about them.

1) Weight gain over Christmas

Studies have shown that we can gain as much as five to seven pounds over the Christmas week alone.

What can You Do About It?

Festive weight gain doesn’t have to be permanent, and we can put way too much pressure on ourselves, particularly over the festive period and we often indulge even though we feel guilty about it and think, “what the hell, it’s christmas, I’ll shift the weight in January.”

We tend to exercise less and eat more during this period so it’s not rocket science really. So by maintaining your normal exercise routine and not eating everything in front of you, and yes I’m as guilty as the next man, you can break even over the festive period.

If you do indulge over christmas, then in January follow a sensible healthy eating plan with exercise, most people can lose approximately 2lb per week – that’s nearly all your Christmas weight gain in three weeks.

Another top tip is, instead of a diet, focus on your portion control as overeating at Christmas and at all the parties either side of the big day, it’s easy to continue the habit of large meals and delicious deserts and, you can even throw this in the mix during the festivities to stop you feeling so stuffed at every meal.

Cut back to three smaller meals a day and two snacks equalling around 1500 calories per day (2000 calories if you’re a man). This obviously varies from person to person and how much exercise you do and the kind of exercise. You can get a benchmark for this by asking a trainer at your local gym to help you, or you can find loads of information on the internet for BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) This won’t necessarily be 100% accurate, it will give you a good start though and help you plan more wisely.

If you’re desperate to lose the weight at a faster rate, try the following:

  • cut out treats such as your morning coffee and muffin
  • reduce sweet snacks to once a week
  • limit alcohol because it restricts the number of calories that can be burned off.

2) General post-Christmas blues

We can all be like reluctant school kids at times and return to work with feelings of lethargy, misery and a lack of personal fulfilment.

What Can You Do About It?

If you’re already counting down the days until your summer holiday, plan more breaks into your work life. We generally spend enough bloody time there so space them out.

Try a weekend away or ‘staycationing’ – where you take leave, but enjoy time at home doing things you enjoy or just relaxing. Or why not use your annual leave for the odd spontaneous day off?

If your feelings of being fed up at work go deeper, I recommend taking a serious look at how you can improve your current role before you look for a new job. Sometimes having a chat with your manager/boss about how you can develop yourself, your role or a promotion can break the state you’re in, and your boss may be in a similar place and this could help them in the process too.

Ask yourself two questions:

  • what can you do to make your existing job more interesting?
  • what do you love most and what are your professional strengths?

The conventional wisdom of making a career change is to work out “what next?” and then make it happen – but change often happens the other way round. Make something happen at work first and then more permanent change will follow.

Ways to do this are to look at your past successes and what you’ve enjoyed doing, because these will guide you to changing the right areas of your work life.

3) New Year over-analysis

Self-reflection at this time of year can make us all focus on what’s wrong with our life, leading us to set unrealistic goals to become our ‘ideal’ person.

Small wonder, then, that a third of us lose our resolve to keep our resolutions within a week.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?

Although self-improvement is important, going overboard can backfire.

To lift your morale and gain perspective, make a list of everything that is already great with your life, taking stock of all that you feel grateful for right now.

It’s healthy to feel motivated to make changes at the beginning of a New Year, and avoid the mistake of only focusing on what’s missing in your life. Instead, focus on the changes you want to bring about from a balanced and optimistic perspective.

As for mistakes – who hasn’t made them? The smart thing to do is to grasp the lesson thoroughly and move on a little bit wiser for it.

Balance your drive for change with an appreciation of the here-and-now and your sense of disillusionment will fade away.

4) Family tension over Christmas

Feeling worn down by your family is normal after Christmas. Spending an extended amount of time cooped up with your relatives is a recipe for tension, no matter how well you usually get on.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?

However, It’s important to realise that all families get on each other’s nerves at Christmas. It doesn’t mean you’re all dysfunctional or don’t love each other, it’s more that you’ve just spent too much time together.

It’s impotent though to recuperate by first resolving any holiday conflicts that have lingered on, because it’s these that will keep on making you feel miserable and stressed into January and beyond.

If you’ve had a big row over something, be the bigger person and back down. Why not consider an old-fashioned letter in the post to apologise or a thoughtful gift?

You will feel much happier if you try to build bridges rather than hang onto a grudge or sense of injustice.

Once you’ve found closure, forget what’s happened and schedule in some much-needed ‘me time’, remembering it’s a long time before you have to do it all again! A thought worth smiling about 🙂

5) Money worries after Christmas with a recession looming

You’ve spent too much at Christmas and you’re worried about your job because the UK economy is still a bit slow and more cuts promised by the government in 2014.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?

The changing economic situation could actually be a good chance for everyone to get on top of their spending and debt.

Keep a note of your daily expenditure and focus on how you feel when you spend. This can help you adopt healthier habits that will then improve your financial situation. And, while you shouldn’t ignore your money problems, don’t dwell on your fears.

Ask yourself how you want your financial life to look this year and focus on how you’ll feel when you get the results you want.

By expecting positive results and working on changing your money habits for good, you can help change your financial future.

6) It’s cold and dark outside

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), or the winter blues, is thought to affect up to two million people in the UK as the lack of natural sunlight leads us to feel depressed and lethargic.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?

There is hope: the days are already getting longer, and January averages less rain and more hours of sunshine than December. although the last couple of months have been a bit of an exception, all right a lot of an exception for some parts of the UK.

Boost your mood by making a lunchtime walk a daily habit. Just 30 minutes of natural light, even weak winter sunlight, can be enough to make you feel happier and energised.

Don’t let the wintry weather put you off your exercise routine either. When it’s cold and dark outside, it is much more tempting to curl up on the sofa than to put on your tracksuit and brave the elements, and when you do get off your arse and do something, the exercise leaves you happier and more motivated filling you with positive feelings which will lift your mood and boost your motivation to do more.

Create a backup plan, so, if it is impossible to exercise outside due to crap weather conditions, you know what you can do as a good alternative. Swimming is a great option if it’s too rainy to run and you can always make use of your garage, like I do, and do a bodyweight circuit which needs absolutely no equipment.

I hope this post has been useful for you and helps bring a little clarity to why you may be feeling low and what you can do to shift it round.

Feel free to leave your thoughts and comments.

Have a brilliant week.

Simon